Triabetes Took Over My Life

D-blog Day: how has the online community helped you?

2011-11-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

Today is national d-blog day. I was asked to participate with the hundreds of others who don't seem to mind the whole world knowing what goes on in their life. We were given two tasks. 1) to create a page for a book that will be at the Children With Diabetes (CWD) Friends for Life (FFL) conference and also to talk about what impact the online community/presence has made on life with diabetes - for me personally.

In 2002 I became a moderator for JDRF's Online Diabetes Support Team (ODST). Basically, I would get all of the emails that were sent to JDRF from families and was assigned the task of finding a great "cyber volunteer" to answer their questions. Back in 2002 I remember the occasional email coming in that no one wanted to see..."I lost my child to diabetes...can someone help me?" Of course at the time no one really could. We tried, but we couldn't fathom.

So many years have gone by and with the death of Jesse I've learned sadly two new ways the online world has been so very useful. First of all, I'm back on the ODST with one specific task - answering emails from families who have lost their children. Second, the world of grieving the loss of a child to diabetes you would think is small. It is not. Facebook and other social media has allowed us to unite into a new group that "no one wants to be a part of." And I'm damn lucky to have both. Because helping others as I always say - helps me. Without those other families I would be grieving quite alone.

So put to task here is my page for D-blog day. My page represents Mile 23(a mile of silence for those lost) and all that it stands for not only for Jesse - but for all the kids lost to this disease. Pictured are many different moments in Death Valley, CA, La Crosse, WI, Grandad's Marathon in North Carolina (My two favorite type 1 Triabetes athletes pictured Steve "Ninja" Ahn and Dave Shack) and Mile 23 of the Ironman Wisconsin. I literally cherish each picture I get where I know someone - anyone - spent a mile thinking about the death of my son and what it means to them. And surrounding the photo are the names of children I never met, but who's parents have become my friends - through our grief - we are united.

I was also asked to provide the blue circle that indicates World Diabetes Day. I did not have to create one. One was created when Trent Nicholson died at the age of 14. So for Jen & Bob Nicholson, this one is for you, baby. The bracelet says, "Find a cure for T1 Diabetes" and more importantly to me, "Remember Trent Nicholson."

The Wedding, the heist, Jesse's gift and Johnny C

2011-09-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

Oh, so you are all DYING to know the story. I just can feel it in my bones!

We wake up to gray skies on Saturday morning, the day Sean Busby is about to marry Mollie Shambeau in Waupaca, Wisconsin. No worries, we know Jesse will be there to help out on his 15th birthday to keep the rain away. We all expected an amazing sign from Jesse, counted on it really.

You see a week before my beloved bike - Johnny C - was stolen out of my garage. Not just any bike, mind you. This bike has been ridden in Jesse's honor for years, endured Death Valley 5 times in fact. No, I wanted Johnny C to come home. I wasn't all that hopeful, after all you rarely hear about bikes recovered. I posted a note on Craigslist letting everyone know what my bike looked like and that if anyone saw it, would they please call me. I filed my insurance claim begrudgingly and carried on.

As I sat at the Shambeau garden with many friends watching my office spouse marry a man I love like a brother, I was choking up. I could hear owls hooting in happiness. Geese flew over. The sign? No way. As the vows were exchanged I again cried while Sean and Mollie publicly recognized Jesse bringing them together - after all, they would never have met if he hadn't died and I knew more than anything Jesse was smiling down on them. I could FEEL it.

During the ceremony my phone rings and rings (on vibrate of course, I'm not that rude, but always having my phone on me is a habit left over from Jesse...no mom is ever away from her type 1 son, no way.) I get on the bus to travel back to the Indian Crossing Casino (which is not a casino, nor native american looking) and listen to my voicemail. A complete stranger is telling me that a thief has posted my bike for sale.

In somewhat of an excited and swift moment I call Charles back home and ask him to work with this guy to set up a meeting, and to bring the police. It's within a short amount of time that Charles is meeting with a wonderful officer named Steph...she's leery we are going to get this...but then Charles lets her know of Jesse, of the wedding and the meaning of Johnny C. She calls my friend Sarah MacKesey who is also a police officer and they are ready to roll. At the same time my friend Vicki G is letting me know that she also is trying to call the guy and knows it's my bike (her partner is also a police officer). My phone is ringing. A wedding is happenings. Toasts are made. And as Sean Busby stood to toast my Jesse Alswager, I get a call. A simple sentence from Charles, "We have your bike." And a mass of people who never met me, but know of Jesse, roar.

Did he get arrested? No. Was Johnny C lying sadly on a dirty floor in a seedy neighborhood? Yes. But nothing was removed from my biked - not even my trail pass with my name! No doubt it was my bike.

All I wanted was my bike back. And Jesse, well, he sure gave us a sign. A big one. There is no doubt that he wanted to be part of the day...and he was.

Congrats to Mollie & Sean and happy to "me" for having my bike..in the HOUSE...he's no longer living in my garage.

And that my friends is a happily ever after. Oh and by the way the gift they are opening symbolizes Jesse, and their marriage. As Dave Matthews so wonderfully said, "You and me together, we can do anything, baby....all the way to the end of the world...."

Til We Reach The End of the World

2011-09-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow would have been Jesse's 15th birthday. I could stare at that sentence for hours and probably cry and feel sorry for myself. I'm sure I will spend at least 3 minutes tomorrow feeling sorry for myself.

But I get the pleasure of celebrating Jesse's birthday in a way not many others could do in my situation. Let me tell you a story.

When Jesse died a good friend of mine called and wanted to be sure he could fly in for the funeral. You see, Sean Busby was a good friend to Jesse. Jesse looked up to Sean in those early years because Sean was a professional snowboarder with type 1 diabetes who was about to embark on putting together a snowboard camp in Wisconsin with me. Over the years they became more like brothers, calling each other up with stupid one liners or talking about girls.

Brothers.

I asked Sean to deliver the eulogy for Jesse along with Jesse's sister, Samantha. While he stood talking about Jesse in heartfelt words a friend and coworker, Mollie Shambeau, was listening in a church pew and wondering who Sean was.

Over that week Sean and Mollie got to know one another. So much so that Mollie ended up quitting her job and moving to Utah to live with Sean. I can flash forward through this, but let it be known there have been many symbols that Jesse approves of this as songs that remind us of Jesse keep popping at important moments for Sean and Mollie, including the day Sean proposed to Mollie in Iceland. "You and Me" by Dave Matthews Band, a song that Jesse asked me to download just days before he died.

So Sean & Mollie decided to get married - and what date did they pick? The only date available of course in the small town of Waupaca, Wisconsin - September 24, 2011. Jesse's 15th birthday.

I'm looking forward to spending the day not thinking so much about what I've lost, but for what Sean and Mollie gained out of that loss and friendship. I had struggled so hard to come up with a gift for these two after all I certainly can't give them a Pottery Barn gift certificate. I had decided to let Jesse guide me.

One night while sitting on my deck just staring at stars and listening to music alone, it came to me, and with the help of a mom who also has a child with diabetes (of course!) I created what I think is the perfect gift. More to come on that after I hand deliver it tomorrow at their wedding, but I'm pretty sure Jesse picked it out, if you believe in that kind of thing like I do.

The song below reminds me of Jesse in so many ways, and yet is fitting for their wedding also. I hope you all have a good day remembering your time with Jesse. I hope you'll also post some fun memories on his memorial page or my wall.

Congrats Mollie & Sean, and Happy Birthday Eggyolkio...we miss you....

You & Me - Dave Matthews Band
Want to pack your bags something small
Take what you need and we disappear
Without a trace we'll be gone, gone
Moon and the stars will follow the car

And then when we get to the ocean
Gonna take a boat to the end of the world
All the way to the end of the world

Oh and when the kids are old enough, we're gonna teach them to fly

you and me together
We could do anything baby
You and me together yes, yes
You and me together
We could do anything baby
You and me together yes yes

You and I were not tied to the ground
Not falling but rising like rolling around
Eyes closed above the rooftops
Eyes closed we're gonna spin through the stars

Our arms wide as the sky, we're gonna ride the blue

All the way to the end of the world
To the end of the world

Oh and when the kids are old enough, we're gonna teach them to fly

CHORUS

We can always look back at what we did
Always remembering how you and me did
Right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know, we could do better than
anything that we did
You know that you and me
We could do anything

You and me together
We could do anything, baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together yeah, yeah
two of us together, we could do anything baby

It's so small
Till we reach the end of the world

Jessepalooza 2011 Rocked Out

2011-08-29T17:15:00.000-07:00

The day was beautiful - hot - but beautiful. Crowds came and went throughout the day - and we realized Keva Sports Center is a perfect place to bring your kids (and still drink beer!) while watching great bands!

Many thanks to our sponsors:
Murphy Desmond Lawyers
Madison Memorial Captain Club
BDO
Centurion Cycling
Residence Inn

The hundreds of companies that donated items to our silent auction and drawings - I KNOW you are inundated with requests - I thank you personally for thinking our cause is important.

To best committee on the planet - Jody Montgomery, Michelle Reddington, Sandy Thompson, Carla Blumer, Shana Kellum, Tonya Tuomi and the many many many volunteers who show up each year to help! Thank you!

To the bands who give selflessly and do not get paid a cent! They come out, they play and they are awesome. My thanks to
The Distractors
The Campaign
Reaul
Bascom Hill

Listening to the kids sing "If you're not living in my world, it sucks to be you" is definitely one of the highlights. And Morgan's new crush on Reaul. :)

Of course many thanks to Diana Henry and John Urban for emceeing each year for me - so appreciated. And to the media including but not limited to BRAVA magazine, 105.5 FM, WKOW 27, Isthmus....you all supported the event and my family thanks you.

To Moira McCarthy who thought take our mile "23" and make it even more special by having people across the world (LITERALLY) not only buy virtual tickets to Jessepalooza, but to raise a glass at 7:23 pm to toast an amazing kid who still seems to be on a mission. Cheers to all of you!

To Tom Karlya for flying in to spend the day and meet the people I've been telling him about...Told ya, man...

I think Joey said it all....we miss you Jesse and we wish you were here. Until next year...

Mile 23 and what it means to me

2011-08-15T13:46:00.000-07:00

It won't really shock any of you that I just completed my 11th Ride to Cure Diabetes for JDRF. A beautiful 100 miles through the bluffs of Wisconsin, Minnesota and Iowa with 399 of my closest d-world friends on a perfect day of smiles and honor.

This year JDRF (and I personally thank National Co-Head Coach Tim St. Clair and Aly Levine) has taken it upon themselves to have a mile of silence at all 5 ride sites at mile 23 in honor of Jesse and the many others who have followed him in his death. It is a great honor to keep seeing mile 23 posts all over the world. To stand there myself, well, beautiful and meaningful.

I rode for a lot of lost faces and am proud to have written their names at mile 23 (as much as we wanted to chalk them on the road, it rained so a poster board had to do!)

The Ride has always been very special to me, from my first time sitting at a ride meeting and raising my hand to say, "well, I don't have a bike yet, can I really train for this?" to crossing the finish line in record time with one my dearest friends (a new rider!), Theresa Hineline.

Diabetes camaraderie is a beautiful thing.

Rock on Jesse. We miss you.

You say it's my birthday....

2011-07-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

So I could spend my 42nd birthday doing just about anything right? I've got a new house that I filled yesterday with friends and family for a little pre-celebration. But today...today is heavy for me. I cannot get Jesse off my mind because its hard to celebrate things. And this morning my facebook was a sea of birthday wishes. But nothing overwhelmed me quite like Moira McCarthy's blog post to honor Jesse by inviting the world to buy a virtual ticket to Jessepalooza (jessepalooza.org) with her and to raise a glass at 7:23 pm on Saturday, August 6th.

I hope you take the time to read this from Moira. Other people - and their solid kindness - is what gets me through. I hope you will repost this, after all, its $10. You can do it.

http://despitediabetes.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/in-honor-of-jesse-a-virtual-call-to-action/

The Great World I Live In - my latest Dlife Column

2011-06-29T06:15:00.000-07:00

Normally, I just share the link to my bi-monthly Dlife column, but today I share it with love here. If you would like to read more of my columns or the blogs and columns by many other talented writers in the "d" world go to: http://www.dlife.com/diabetes_resources/diabetes_advocacy/michelle_alswager/a-part-of-something

This month's column was inspired by my Death Valley ride this year and the friends who joined me. Thanks for reading:

"Thank you so much for making us feel a part of something instead of feeling like something happened to us."

I saw these words in an email from a newly diagnosed mom, when another mom already neck-deep in the “d” world reached out to her, and it really got me thinking about what a great world I live in. Some of you reading this might be in shock to hear me say that — that I live in a great world. Maybe I am a lucky woman to have all of you and to be a part of something, especially after losing my son to this wretched disease. It’s true, and I’ll tell you why.

This past October I embarked on my journey to Death Valley, California with 35 teammates and 300 other people closely associated to someone with diabetes. We had trained all summer to ride 105 miles on bicycles in 105-degree heat. The Ride to Cure Diabetes put on by JDRF is an awe-inspiring event that brings together people in ways I can’t describe to you, bringing people together to feel like they’re a part of something. I’ve said many times that you have to experience the desert to understand the love and connection.

As I was riding up Jubilee Pass — which is anything but full of jubilee — I was cranking my wheels at 4 mph on a 6-mile climb, and feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was thinking about how my friend who has a son with diabetes was deeply upset by words someone uttered earlier during the ride. The words came from a rider with no direct connection to the disease. The words were simply, “I’m so grateful to have healthy children.” The sting to this diabetes mom was great and sank her into tears because she knew after all of this was over, she was still going home to a child with diabetes. An “unhealthy” child.

I thought about her sadness for quite some time, and after pondering, I said to this mom, “You know what? I found myself jealous of your statement that you get to go home to an unhealthy child. Because while it upset you to hear the word “healthy,” it upset me to hear the word “unhealthy.” After the loss of my son, I would give anything to have an unhealthy child back in my home.” And then I thought, Michelle, there is always someone worse off than you; someone who lost their spouse and a child to a car accident; or a family who lost more than one child to multiple illnesses and accidents.

I reflected on that the whole flight home — how I am blessed. While I have diabetes in my life, and now the loss of it in my life, I’m so lucky to know the people that I do in the diabetes world. They care deeply. And when a new family comes along with a recent diagnosis, and one family reaches out to them which creates more families reaching out to them until it is a gigantic embrace, you get a statement like, “Thank you so much for making us feel a part of something instead of feeling like something happened to us.”

That’s my point.

Jessepalooza is looking mighty AWESOME

2011-06-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

Join us for a fun-filled day on August 6, 2011 at Keva Sports Center in Middleton to celebrate the life of Jesse Alswager. We have chosen Jessepalooza to be the official event to celebrate his life each year doing what Jesse loved best - rocking out.
We are currently accepting sponsorships and exhibitor space - take a look at jessepalooza.org for updates and a "fact sheet".

We have a great line up of bands that are sure to impress - with family-friendly activities all day and ice-cold Wisconsin beer, why wouldn't you want to come?

Also, stay tuned as we let you know a great way to partner with Centurion Cycling! There will be a kids cycling race that Saturday morning - any child raising $100 for either the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation or the Diabetes Research Institute will get free admission and a free t-shirt!

Feel free to email me at curejesse@gmail.com for sponsorship info!

And life carries on and on and on...

2011-05-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

As I type this post the lyrics to Peter Gabriel's song, "I Grieve" come to mind.

I think of all that my family has been through in the last 15 months - changes I would wish upon no one. And yet there has been wonderful things in the midst. And within those changes are Vic and Nicole Kinnunen. Vic just completed Ironman St. George as part of the Triabetes team.

This was an EXTREMELY emotional moment when Vic received the "Cure Jesse" award.... Vic's daughter, Nicole, who is standing with him was also diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes a couple of months ago (his son, with the red shirt, is in the photo also). The "Cure Jesse" award was started in 2008 as the first team of Triabetes embarked on Ironman, awarding it to Jesse & I. It's a beautiful thing to watch new people carry on this tradition in the memory of Jesse. I want to thank all of the athletes for dedicating mile 23 of the run in Jesse's honor. I know he carried you all through.

We all go through many changes in our life, some good, some unimaginable. As I type this I'm embarking on my own life changes of a new house and a new future once again with my amazing kids, Samantha and Joey, starting a new chapter. But life carries on and on and on...

Peace and love my friends.

the latest Dlife column- Making your worst your best

2011-04-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

When Jay Hewitt came to town recently to talk to a group of diabetes educators I was lucky enough to have a seat. I couldn't help but remember the above photo of Me, Samantha, Joey and of course Jesse, as they crossed the Ironman Finish with me so many years ago.

I hope this column inspires you.

http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/type-1/michelle_alswager/diabetes

How to Celebrate Jesse's 15th Birthday

2011-03-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

In 2005 I met a young man named Sean Busby. A professional snowboarder, Sean had recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. A story all his own (and can be read at www.ridingoninsulin.org) Sean was determined to find good in his diagnosis. Sean and I worked together to bring Riding on Insulin to Wisconsin in the Spring of 2005. Jesse participated in that first camp and every other Wisconsin camp after that.

In 2007 I started working at BRAVA Magazine. I met our fashion editor, Mollie Shambeau. We had a different way of working with one another (i.e. LOUD) and over the years developed a strong connection. In that time Mollie would receive several text message "merks" from Jesse. For those who don't know, a "merk" is kind of like a 1980's "made ya look". Mollie and Jesse met for the first time in November of 2009. The merks continued.

In that time Mollie had never met Sean.

When Jesse died it was never a question to me that Sean would deliver the eulogy. Over the years Sean became family to us and a big brother to Jesse. It was then that Sean and Mollie met for the very first time coming together in a time of great sadness.

Flash forward to June of 2010 when Mollie packed up her bags full of scarves and shoes and moved to nowhere, Utah, to live with Sean. Since then they have traveled the world literally...and while on an expedition in Iceland, Sean proposed. (Photo above)

While driving to this moment in Iceland, "You and Me" by Dave Matthews Band came on - a song that meant a lot to Jesse & I. Signs were everywhere.

Today I received a voicemail from Mollie checking in and "Oh, by the way, Michelle, mark your calendar, we are getting married on 9/24!" What an indescribable feeling to realize as it came from my phone...that Mollie & Sean had picked Jesse's 15th birthday for their wedding day - without even realizing it.

I believe as I've said many times that death did not silence Jesse's soul. Sometimes a solid sign from him - like this - is enough to keep me smiling.

There is no doubt to me that Jesse will be there on 9/24/2011 to celebrate both his birthday, and their new beginning.

JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes - the official 10th ride....

2011-03-07T21:25:00.001-08:00

I could blather on, but I already did on my JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes Fundraising page. You know why I ride, please join me, or join me in the fight for a cure.

http://www2.jdrf.org/site/TR/Ride/JDRFNationalRides?px=1268074&pg=personal&fr_id=1472

Jessepalooza Rockfest set for Aug. 6th

2011-02-15T18:21:00.001-08:00

Mark your calendars for the 2nd annual Jessepalooza - a rockfest honoring the life of Jesse Alswager and celebrating all he was - and is. We are very proud of all we have seen in this world due to his life and the loss of him. We continue to honor Jesse in the way he would love most - rockin' out. Join us at KEVA Sports Center in Middleton, Wisconsin on 8/6. Proceeds benefit JDRF and the Diabetes Research Institute. And if you have a bicycle...more info to come!

Great bands, great food, great Wisconsin beer - cya there!

Jen Davino graces the March issue of Triathlete Magazine

2011-02-11T14:48:00.000-08:00

As if the news of Triabetes Captain Tiffany Heindel sporting the cover of Ohio Sport & Fitness magazine this month wasn't enough comes the news of Jen Davino's amazing article in the March issue of Triathlete Magazine. Not only am I proud to see Triabetes getting all of the attention it deserves, but two LADIES in a row - woot woot!

Congrats Jen!

/blog/2011/2/11/triathlete-triumphs-over-diabetes.html

More Lasagna Please - the last chapter

2011-02-03T13:10:00.000-08:00

Today marks one year since we lost Jesse. So much has happened in the one year that is positive. It has made me realize the amazing friends I have in this world. It has brought people together that wouldn't have (Sean and Mollie). It has changed the course of people's lives. It has made me realize that I didn't have a CLUE what real grief was and that I never really did completely understand the loss of a child for others until my own loss. I wish I didn't know or understand what they feel. But I do. I stand in awe thinking of how many people rushed to be my side - people I didn't expect to help, helped. And sadly, a few people I thought would be there to hold me up, failed the most. Sad but true, but as Jesse reminds me - I cannot expect some people to be capable of something they are incapable of. It is their loss.

I have spent the last year continuing to advocate in Jesse's honor. Today I announced the 2nd Annual rockfest - Jessepalooza - taking place on Saturday 8/6 in Madison Wisconsin (jessepalooza.org). Its a positive vibe on a day that is very hard for us - the one year anniversary of his death.

I have watched others this year lose their children to type 1 diabetes. So many that I sometimes even forget their names. Some of them (those who have lost) have become some of my closest and dearest friends and today I also think of them. My text messages, emails and facebook has been an outpouring of love and support. And instead of crying most of the day I have looked at the messages and realize how many people Jesse touched in his lifetime - and now beyond.

Jesse is a testament that death does not silence the soul.

I have spent the last year writing a book on grief called "More Lasagna Please." The lasagna represents all the love that pours into your house when you lose someone. They bring you lasagna (love) and your freezer is full. It is to remind people that we do not need a freezer full of lasagna, we need lasagna brought to us for the rest of our lives. It is about the real grieving process not so much about God or life after death, but about tying your shoes, people who tick you off when they mean well, and just getting through Tuesday. It is meant to be read by the person who just experienced a significant loss AND the person trying to help them. I wrote my last chapter today and I leave you with my last chapter rough draft:
-----

Wednesday is Just Wednesday – 1 year later

When I started this book a year ago it always occurred to me that while I really wanted to focus on the first six months of grief, I would want to follow up on the exact date of our first anniversary. I know when this was all happening to me I wanted someone – anyone – to tell me that I would feel something other than pain.

I hope some of you have skipped ahead to this chapter to see that indeed there is some relief.

As I write this today there are reminders everywhere of that fateful day. I had wondered how horrifying this day would be, how I would spend it, who would I spend it with. I knew I would not be spending today reliving that horrible nightmare. No, that slideshow still resides in the back of my mind trying to ooze out throughout my days but today cannot be a day to torture oneself or torture those around me. And strangely I find today nowhere near as bad as the hellish month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Interesting to me – and surprising.

Instead I spent the day reflecting. In the past year I discovered the color blue is the color of God. Oh, man, did you just wince? Don’t wince! I’m not a person all wrapped up in bible thumps. I’m a person who on this one year of journey has discovered little touches of beauty. When referring to blue I recall thinking at one time stating that grief is like going through your whole life without seeing the color blue but now blue is everywhere. When I said that I meant metaphorically that blue is everywhere – grief is everywhere – but until you truly have to fathom the unimaginable, you can’t possibly understand other people’s grief. Not really. You can try but I’m here to tell those of you who are helping others through their grief that you are right when you wonder if you know what we are feeling – no way. And God help you, I hope you never do. But later I was interviewing a wonderful woman from a national radio show who remembered seeing my story time and again on the news and while telling her my blue reference she said, “You know Michelle, blue is a reference to God.” So is it ok for me – and you – to see a little bit of God over this last year? For me that is ok. For you it can be whatever you need – I don’t judge!

I want to remind you, my dear friend the reader that as you get through your first days, first weeks, first months and you wonder, “Will I ever breathe again?” I’m here to tell you that unfortunately, your breaths are still sharp with pain and reminders of your loss are everywhere. That is a harsh reality. But I can tell you that while those first weeks I couldn’t get through “Wednesday” because “Wednesday” was a deafening reminder that my son died a week ago, two weeks ago, 3 weeks ago. And now? Wednesday to me is just a Wednesday. So I’m here to tell you that after a year there IS relief even if it is in small steps.

My friend Laura who you learned about so early in this book who’s words and guidance got me through those first days, those first months and this first year just popped up on my facebook with the words, “I love you Michelle who sees Blue now and is beautiful and loving and full of light!” It makes me reflect that just like as he did in life, in death he brought me beautiful people, amazing growth and a year more of my journey. If Jesse were here physically there would be no Laura in my life and she is a gift. I think about the other families I have met this year who lost their children to diabetes. These parents are strong fighters filled with so much love that I can’t imagine my life without them. The community that I was once part of – the huge diabetes community – embraced me rather than discarding me when I thought most I no longer fit. Instead I became someone they came to for advice no matter how strange I thought they would want advice from the woman who’s son died, not who lived. A gift from them.

The odd moments continue but they are easier to handle. Today I had a new intern start at the magazine under my guidance. Jesse’s death remains an awkward thing, I mean, am I supposed to fully disclose his death right away? Do I not mention it? What’s the right etiquette? In this situation my intern popped in today and we were talking about event planning. We started talking about kids and what kind of music they listen to. I started to talk about how my daughter prefers new music and that my teenage son “liked” heavy metal and that my youngest son was still forming an opinion. It lured us into a discussion of video games while I sat uncomfortably feeling almost as if I was lying to her by not telling her that my son had died. She was after all standing across from me listening to me detail all three of my children’s musical taste and now video gaming. I said, “I have this event in the summer in honor of my son called Jessepalooza. We gave away a private tour of Raven Software.” Without a blink but with quite a bit of obvious misunderstanding she said, “I bet he just died when he got that!” I knew this moment was going to be more painful for her than me. Split second thinking and me blurting, “I’m so sorry, and please do not feel horrified, you couldn’t know, but my son Jesse died a year ago today.” Horrified she was. I’m afraid our uncomfortable moments will continue until someone writes more clearly about death etiquette.

I think of my family. His death brought us together, tore us apart and today I am happy to tell you that my family is intact once more. We realized through this year that we needed each other and no matter what you have to stick together. I’m grateful for them.

My kids. What can I say here without choking up? My 17 year old daughter has shown so much grace, strength and love that I am in awe of her. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to ever portray a teenager as perfect, I think that might be against the law, but her view on the world overwhelms me sometimes – not jaded and sad, but full of life and memories of Jesse. My 10 year old son who has gone through so much in this year, my silent one who held all that pain inside. I hope he continues to journey in the right direction and hope that he continues to remember his brother through stories, videos and good times. Maybe you are reading this early in your grief and I hope this brings you some comfort as you look at your children and worry about their future and immediate pain. You will help get them through, keep trudging.

I wish I could tell you that you’ll be truly ok. I do. But I’ve learned that grief is a son of a bitch. It bites you right in the ass when you least expect it and sometimes you will have to keep it in line all by yourself despite all the best intentions by friends and family because only you, my friend, stand in those shoes. I’m still healing every day and I wish you the same healing strength. Who knows, maybe we’ll meet again in 5 years? I’ll bring the garlic bread – you bring the wine."

Love to you all, and thanks for sticking with me.

Michelle

A year later - we miss you, Jesse.

2011-02-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

A new slideshow of our Jesse. If you want the direct link to it on youtube, here it is. Better quality:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnCqxSyNanY

Team Western Wisconsin trains indoors, and a Triabetes Captain gets a cover!

2011-01-30T19:31:00.000-08:00

On to positive mojo, peeps. Today I spent the afternoon doing some indoor cycling at Speed Cycling -owned by Petra Kilian-Gehring, a JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes participant herself. We've decided to keep the team rolling in the off season here in Wisconsin. It is so fun to see everyone all season long and keep the love going.

Michelle Reddington has stepped up by leading our classes and when I heard her yell into her microphone, "ALSWAGER! You should be breathing too heavy to be TALKING!" I couldn't help but grin and remember a different group I once rode with indoors to train for past years. How I miss riding with Vaughn Vance! Luckily there are new riders who are just as willing as Vaughn to get in trouble with me during class!

We are really looking forward to doing our 100 mile ride in La Crosse, Wisconsin this year and I'm excited to know a lot of my past rider-friends will be joining us (Welcome back Kansas City Smack Train!).

And in other news, congrats to Triabetes Captain, Tiffany Heindel who is currently sporting the cover of Ohio Sports & Fitness! I can't help but grin when I see Triabetes continuing to shine....

Six have died - the rest of you keep living please

2011-01-29T11:55:00.000-08:00

As 2/3 - the anniversary of Jesse's death - creeps up on me it forces me to try to make sense of things. I wonder sometimes if all the news I hear of deaths in the diabetes community are just escalating because I'm sensitive to the deaths, because facebook brings us all together, or if in fact there are more deaths.

Last night was a hard night for me. I have been struggling with how I will deal with Jesse's death on the actual anniversary. I had made the decision to stay positive and not think of death, or replay the day.

Last night, I learned of three more deaths in the diabetes world. All young. In fact, one was a 16 year old boy named Jesse. Horrible for me. Horrible for them. As I woke in the morning I learned of 3 more. All under the age of 28 (one was an 18 month old who's diagnosis was missed).

I wanted to take a moment to say to you all that are living with diabetes - please do not take my posts as a means to make you sad or scared. No, I repost and talk of these deaths so these families can find me. Because the best counseling I could get was from families who lost before me. I hope to be there for these new families and they transition to this new group that once again, no one wants to be part of.

So for those of you living with "d", live it large. :)

a year of thanks

2011-01-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

Thank you to Amy Eager for showing up at my house at 8:30 am on 2/4.

Thank you to Jen Engel for pants.

Thank you to MyMenu for a freezer full of food.

Thank you to Sarah Faust for m&ms, maps of Spain and other things that were so abnormal during grief, it became a relief to receive them.

Thank you to Sean, Sam and Karly for delivering the best eulogies a mom could ask for.

Thank you to every tv and radio station in this town who put aside all political stuff and ALL covered event related to Jesse because in their hearts, they knew the reason was worth it.

Thank you to Econoprint who transformed Mark Gray's caricature of Jesse in to Jessepalooza brand I will be proud to use for all the years to come.

Thanks to Tom Karlya for pulling me into the Diabetes Research Institute and keeping me motivated to do something bigger.

Thank you to my kids for being so damn strong.

Thank you to Charles for getting up that painful day and setting up the memorial fund and having the mental capacity when I didn't.

Thanks to Bob Gorsuch for allowing my family to grieve rather than worrying about how we would pay for a funeral.

Thanks to everyone who came to the Lazy Oaf to help with the memorial fund.

Thanks to the most wonderful six people - Derek, Kye, Paul, Aaron, Andrew and Bob who had the responsibility as pall bearers.

Thanks to all of the 13 year olds who continue to friend me on facebook and allow me a window into Jesse's life as a teen.

Thanks to all my coworkers who tried not to flinch when I was crying in my office trying to get through those early days.

Thanks to all my friends who got on bicycles and rode in Jesse's honor in Death Valley.

Thanks to those at the helm who made 23 a mile of silence for this year and the years to come.

Thanks to Joe Brady for creating a meaningful slideshow and for giving me Jesse's used test strips during my Oscar Drama Moment one mile from the top of Jubilee Pass.

Thanks to Sean Busby for happening to be standing at the Jubilee Pass sign when it was time to put Jesse's test strips down those rusty metal posts and us knowing it will always be there.

Thanks to all at JDRF who had the balls to put politics aside and support me.

Thanks to all of you who keep me motivated to complete my book on this experience.

Thanks to Laura Kuhl who tells me that Jesse misses peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Thank you to anyone who has not expected me to be "normal" because "enough time has gone by" when it hasn't been enough time gone by.

Thank you to the Ohms for helping me understand that time does not erase a person's face, smile and sounds.

Thank you to my old grade school and high school friends who have taken the time to travel to Madison more than once just to make sure I remember how to have fun.

Thank you to John Moore, Anne Findly and Gabby Cezar for being here when I wasn't expecting it.

Thanks to Terese Berceau and the rest of the Wisconsin Assembly for honoring Jesse and I as hometown heroes.

Thanks to Paul and Kye for vowing to always be Joey's big brothers for Jesse.

Thanks to Bill Bathke who's hug meant a lot before he lost his own life this year.

Thanks to my entire ride group for allowing Jesse to be a major part of why we ride even though I know you ride for very personal reasons of your own.

Thanks to national ride coach Tim St Clair for being a big mushy goo when it comes to talking to me.

Thank you to Sara Rankin for opening up about her own son's death to help me through those first days.

Thanks to Jen and Bob for allowing me to call them when it's 2 am and I need someone who gets it, and understands why the ornament aisle hurts like hell.

Thanks to John Flint who said, "Dude, I really don't want to be the guy you write about in your book about the people who say dumb things to you." :)

Thanks to the Judd/Blanchard family for turning the support I had for the loss of their family into helping my family through ours.

Thank you to Jesse for teaching me that I cannot expect someone to be capable of something they are incapable of. (Keeping my anger in check)

Clearly I have forgotten to mention many...so to those I thank you as well. Through it all there have been disappointments, life is full of them after all. But the biggest thank you goes to all of you for never expecting a thank you and for THAT, I thank you.

Reassessing Your Charity

2010-12-26T14:16:00.000-08:00

This is my most recent Dlife column about reassessing your charity. Give it a read, it is food for thought.

http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information/daily_living/Viewpoints/Michelle_Alswager/charity.html

Godspeed Little Man

2010-12-16T11:34:00.001-08:00

A tribute to Jesse Alswager and Trent Nicholson in Death Valley - we miss you.

What's Next for Triabetes You Ask?

2010-12-13T07:57:00.000-08:00

I had the privilege recently to share the Triabetes documentary with our local JDRF Board of Directors. At the end of the film I was asked (as I am always asked), "What's next for Triabetes?"

I think this footage speaks volumes for a program that continues to inspire. Enjoy. I'm always proud to see smiling kids next to adults wearing Triabetes jerseys.

10 months and counting

2010-12-03T18:27:00.000-08:00

Today marks the 10th month since we lost Jesse. It marks 9 years and 10 months that my friend Jill lost her niece, Elizabeth. It marks 289 days for my friend Bryan who lost his wife, Amy, exactly one week after my Jesse. I will never forget getting condolences from Bryan and Amy only to have her ripped away just one week later.

One year ago today Tracy and Deja were ripped away from this world by a heinous act of murder. I did not know them when they died, or in life. Months after their death I learned of a benefit for domestic abuse put on my Tracy's sister, Lisa. I knew both personally and professionally that I wanted to help this family. Their pain impressed upon me how fragile life is - it was the closest I had ever come to truly empathizing with pain. But at the end of the night, I still went home to my "whole" family and still had a normal day. They didn't.

Shortly after the event they held a check presentation and I felt compelled to bring my kids to meet this amazing family - to see that there are other worthy charities besides curing type 1 diabetes - out there. I introduced my kids to many. Weeks later Jesse was gone.

At Jesse's memorial I will never forget turning around and seeing Lisa's entire family there - to support me. Proof that what we give to this world, is given back. I stood with them without words and just literally "felt" the pain and anguish that coursed through them - which was now coursing through me. They knew.

Tonight I lit a candle for Tracy and Deja in my dining room. Some of you already know that Jesse has a way of kind of hanging out with us and he tends to have energy that is palatable in our dining room. Its happened to me on many occasions. I preface the rest with "NO I have not completely lost my mind, no I am certainly not a Jesus freak I just know now from my own experience that Jesse still exists and I can't ignore that and have just a little bit of peace knowing there's more to this crazy ride than some of the shit handed to us on earth." :) With that said I lit the candle quietly. As I stood the energy changed in the room - something I would have not noticed before Jesse died - and I watched the bright candle go down to the smallest flame. No draft, no wind just me and the room as I watched the candle once again flicker brightly and felt the energy move on.

It is times like these, I can trudge a little bit forward. It is bittersweet to hang the stockings (including Jesse's) and to find joy in the holidays (and not beat some cheery-butthole buying presents for their kids), but I am doing my best. (what?! I would have said something like cheery-butthole before this happened, I'm still ME for God's sake!)

Tonight I wish peace to the Judd family, to Bryan, to Jill, to Bob & Jen, to Charlie and Mel (and little Ella), to Jane, and Deb and to the rest of you who I hope more than you can ever know, never feel what we feel.

Love to all and if I don't get to another blog post, peace and love through the holidays.

xo
Michelle

My Take on "6 Things You Need to Know About Diabetes"

2010-11-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

Today is "D-Blog Day". Started in 2005 during Diabetes Awareness Month it was created to create more awareness for diabetes.

I've watched all my "blog-colleagues" (I wonder if that is in wikipedia yet?) post about the bad things....and the myths and the struggles.

So my take is going to be a little different. Bear with me.

1. Diabetes builds character.
The people I know with diabetes are some of the finest human beings on the planet. Whether they have diabetes, or have a child with diabetes they care deeply about one another. They live their lives to the fullest and teach us about compassion, strength and love.

2. Diabetes makes you do crazy things.
Yes, like creating a documentary when you have no experience in film. Or ride your bike 105 miles through a desert. Or do an Ironman.

3. Diabetes makes you forget about other health problems.
Yes, for instance when Jesse was six months old we discovered he had a congenital birth defect of his left eye (no nerves on the left side so he couldn't look left). Or perfect baby was no longer perfect. With the onset of diabetes and his adaptive nature to learning how to turn his head so no one noticed his eye, we almost completely forgot it existed! Yes, folks, diabetes put perspective on other pain.

4. Diabetes pisses me off so much that other things seem small in comparison.
What? I didn't get a raise? My daughter missed the school bus? Dinner won't be ready until 7 pm? Yes, thank you diabetes for helping me to not sweat the small stuff.

5. Diabetes got me active in politics.
Oh, diabetes, you launched my political career - I mean before you, did I care about embryonic stem cell research or know what the NIH was or meet with legislators?

So you might be sensing hostility at this point. Maybe. But #6 has meaning.

1. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for diabetes.
When Jesse was diagnosed with diabetes 10 years ago my life path - and career path - was much different. My passion to find a cure led me to working as an executive director for two diabetes organizations and then onto my current position at BRAVA Magazine (I had met the owner of the magazine when her son was diagnosed with diabetes). And I love my job. I love the people in my life. And I am blessed to know all of you.

A first time rider in Death Valley - Mollie Shambeau (with Sean Busby)

2010-10-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

So I couldn't resist posting her blog about the Death Valley ride. She does such a good job explaining its the love of people that drives us forward. Enjoy. I'm very proud of them for riding with us...

http://themollieshambeaushow.com/2010/10/28/128-degrees-on-the-pavement-in-death-valley-calif-need-i-say-more/

Miles 23 -in memory of Jesse in Death Valley

2010-10-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

On 2/2/2010 I sat at the dinner table with my family. I had recently been talked into doing the JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes by my friend, Tim Kritter. He said it was time to return from my self-imposed exile. We decided on the Lake Tahoe ride because we hadn't been there - after all, I had already been to Death Valley 4 times. Charles was teasing me about going to Tahoe - he and Jesse relentlessly teased me about my love for the ride party. Of course I got totally upset and then Jesse said, "Mom. Seriously, you need to chill. We know what you do for me with diabetes." We hung out and had a great night watching Kindergarten Cop together. In the morning he told me he wasn't feeling great. No big deal - a bad 'd' day. While I got ready for work I created my fundraising page and emailed it to all of my friends and family for donations. I said to them that it was time for me to get back in the saddle because diabetes doesn't rest for Jesse, why should I?

He died that day.

I can't explain the strong pull I had to return to the Valley. I called my friends and said, "forget Tahoe, we need to go back." On the day of his funeral, we all made the switch to return. And a new journey began.

The 8 months it took to get from that moment to the hot sand and stark beauty of the desert were more brutal than you can ever imagine. Each day was a challenge - not training, no, just being alive and missing him. I was surrounded by friends and watched them one by one sign up to join me in Death Valley.

As we trained we ordered special jerseys - Godspeed Jesse jerseys. They arrived in time for us all to bring with us to Furnace Creek. Upon arriving at the ranch I see friends not just from my chapter but Anne Findlay from San Fran, Sue Morgan "Carmel Sue" of Utah, Mike Crowley of Milwaukee, Jerry Jorgensen of Little Rock, not to forget Triabetes athlete Jerry Nairn whom I never met yet was there to ride for my little man and the best faces in the world to finally see - Bob and Jen Nicholson. You see, I met Jen and Bob shortly after 3/25 - which sadly is the day their 14 year old son, Trent, died from diabetes. A bond was made during those horrible weeks and seeing them after months of phone calls and emails it was like we had known each other for years. And watching my friends embrace them as their own was overwhelming.

Tim St. Clair surprised me the Friday evening before the ride by dedicating a mile of silence in Jesse's honor and the announcement that the mile would continue for years to come to recognize all that are lost to this disease. It was also a strange honor to receive the top recruiter jersey and set a new record for most recruits. Joy mixed with a lot of pain.

Before the sun rose we made our way to breakfast me dragging Charles along for his first experience. I was worried how he would react - would he see the beauty of this experience? Would he feel the way I did in 2004, the almost spiritual journey out to Jubilee Pass? We donned our Jesse jerseys and made it to the starting line. Quickly it was decided by my team that we would stop at mile 23 as a team - no matter what - all together to honor Jesse.

As we sped down to Badwater we laughed and smiled and enjoyed the stark beauty and the love for one another. It was a literal Jesse train, his smiling face everywhere. It was beautiful. We all got off our bikes - someone made a cross with rocks - to this day I don't know who. We gathered for a photo as I watched Sandy Thompson cry and I said, "No. Not now. Not today. Today we push forward and we are strong." The heaviness was quickly broken by Jerry Jorgensen, a comical man with diabetes when he crouched down to test his blood sugar and screamed, "Oh my God! I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!" (he was 68 by the way, way to check Jerry!).

As the photos are snapped we rode off together in a sea of Jesse's. I caught up to Bob Nicholson in our silence. A nod, a painful smile and a knuckle-bump for Trent and Jesse.

We break out to mile 24 with the sun breaking along the next alluvial fan and we change our gears to enjoy this brutally hot yet beautiful day that even forced the one lone coyote into the shade of one roadside sign.

For those of you who have been to Death Valley you know the ascent to Jubilee Pass is difficult, relentless, hot and well - UPHILL for six miles. 113 degrees on the bike computers this particular year, to be exact. You bring that gear down and you crank. I am no stranger to it as I had climbed 4 times prior. But this particular year my body said "no." Halfway up I find myself walking. And angry with myself. I'm hot. I'm pissed off. My two coaches Joe Brady and Dan Rotert are circling me like caring buzzards. My mind is racing as they point out cloud formations to distract my pain and overexertion. I laugh out loud and say to Joe, "Are you KIDDING me? You are pointing out clouds? Dude! I'm the one who is usually doing this to others on this climb, you can't fool me!" More pain and frustration. With one mile to go up I simply give up. I can't make it. I'm holding tightly a vial of two used test strips. I had brought them from home. I hand them to Joe and say, "take them. I can't do it. You know what you need to do." But something took over. I had a goal, I was going to get there.

This isn't a story of some courageous last climb. Nope. Instead its a story of finding a sag wagon to put my sorry ass in. But the beauty of that moment is I'm so relieved that I will make it to Jubilee that I start helping others who are sagging to the top, I ask them where they are from, I help load up their bikes, I get them water from the sag wagon to relieve us from drinking the hot water in our bottles. I'm back! The "me" is back!

At the top of Jubilee I see friends Mollie Shambeau and Sean Busby overheated and waiting. There's Amy Eager and Bob Gorsuch. And here comes Sandy Thompson and Craig Midtlein climbing. Jeremy Scherbert, Chris Rotert...the gang is here. We get up to the sign and with tears and hugs Sean and I nod and place a used test strip down the rusty metal poles of the Jubilee Pass sign knowing a true part of Jesse will remain there forever.

You might also think this story should end with me getting a second wind and getting my butt back to the ranch. Again, no. But it was just as glorious. As I coast back down to Ashford Mills I pick up Sandy Thompson and say "I'm done, sag please." I get in the car of Cheryl Sargeant, volunteer cheer. I look in the mirror and see what everyone was concerned about - white blisters have formed all over my face - I have sun poisoning. I made a good choice. We drive awhile and pick up a tired Sean Busby. I can tell you, however, that sagging in with Cheryl, Sandy and Sean was amazing and leaning out the car to cheer my amazing teammates through was worth every second. It was not failure.

The reat of the story is the same for everyone - beauty of crossing the finish, hugging those who are out there for the first time and knowing they will be back. I think most of Charles who came into this unsure of whether or not he enjoyed cycling who didn't really "get it" 100%...but after his journey and we were home he said, "I want to do this next year and be trained and hammer this thing and be in by 2 pm." Yeah baby....welcome to the itch.

I am a proud JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes Rider and I look forward to my next journey with the new group of new friends and old friends. I think you should join me.

Godspeed Jesse, you were in our hearts the whole ride.

A Viewing of the Triabetes Documentary - October 12th

2010-09-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

I know - finally! The Science of Inspiration has been shown in many cities - but not Madison! For obvious reason I have been a little awol from this project. Today marks the 7 month anniversary of the death of my son, Jesse. I say this not to scare you, or to instill fear, I say this as the means of "keep educating, keep learning, keep reaching" and find a cure for this wretched disease.

The specifics:
Tuesday, October 12th
Gray's Tied House - Verona
6 pm, cash bar
7:00 pm - viewing

The show itself is 50 minutes long - expect something you might see on Discover Channel. We have a large screen tv and private room for our group.

I hope you can make it!

Month 5 - time to train - time to reflect

2010-07-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

Hello Triabetes blog readers. I know, I've been MIA. It's been a tough 5 months since losing our Jesse. There are days it feels he is still going to come through the door but in some ways it feels he has been gone so very long.

I won't go into every aspect of my life about that, here. There is plenty written elsewhere and I've been documenting it all in my a book I hope to publish about grieving. Its been a bumpy road with immense sadness and other flickers of slight joy and smiles.

Today is a new day of sorts. While everyone pretty much knows I'm doing the JDRF ride in Death Valley this October in Jesse's honor, most also know I haven't done much as it relates to training for something - anything. I've watched some good friends as they continue their racing - such as the Wimmers who ran the Madison Marathon in Jesse's honor sporting a tshirt with his image and the words "Godspeed Jesse", or Darren Fortney, who wears a guitar pick of Jesse's around his neck and taken it through Marathons, Ultra-swims and cross-country ski racing. Darren feels Jesse guiding.

My friend Theresa Hineline emailed me about a 1/2 marathon she wants to do in about the most northern portion of Wisconsin - Ashland, Wisconsin, to be exact. The race is called the Whistlestop. Now, I've never done a 1/2 marathon (I don't count Ironman, that's just a whole other animal). So I said what the hell and signed up.

Where the hell am I going with the story? I'm sorry! It's been forever since I talked to you.

Anyway, today I laced up my shoes in my 20 lb heavier body and did my first day of training - an easy 2.5 miles. What makes my training meaningful to me?

I am wearing a bracelet that says "In Memory of Trent Nicholson", a young man who would have turned 15 on 6/22 but instead joined Jesse just weeks after him in what I now consider (and hope) to be the more meaningful part of our beings. I have become close with Trent's family and will be riding with his parents, Bob and Jen, in Death Valley. I wore my cure diabetes bracelet that I once created on an airplane coming back from my first century ride in Death Valley, that has always symbolized what I do for Jesse. I wore my 3/3 hat - the date of his diagnosis, 3/3/2000. And I wore of course my Triabetes t-shirt, a documentary that came to my brain for that same light - Jesse.

Now, a few weeks ago I flew to NYC to film a new segment on Dlife to talk about Jesse. On that trip I lost my ipod somewhere between the banter in the Chicago airport bar, and my nightstand. Today I picked up Jesse's ipod. I ran listening to HIS music and what inspired him. I plan to leave it "as is" for my training for this race.

The beauty of what I hear is not the lyrics. In fact years ago someone would tease me a lot about how I listened to the music and not lyrics. I changed that and begin to dig more and more into lyrics. But today when these lyrics came on, as tears started to run down my face at the lyrics, I switched back to the sound of the music, specifically the guitar and found myself laughing, smiling and knowing that Jesse dug this tune not for the lyrics, but for the guitar he played and learned. But if you are a lyric person, please listen close and read the last line of the song. It is the pair of shoes I stand in for this moment at least.

I share with you the beginning of my journey. Moving forward, one day at a time.

You inspire me every day, Jesse Thomas Alswager. Stay cool.
MOM

"Lonely Day"

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you

Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Life

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived

Jesse - a slideshow by his sister, Sam

2010-03-26T13:23:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this video with you all. Sam put this together for the funeral. When we hear this music, we know he's with us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8yNxqWoasg&feature=channel

10 years - almost... 3/3 has arrived

2010-03-02T19:12:00.000-08:00

IN HONOR OF JESSE PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO AND SPREAD TO YOUR FRIENDS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPDS2V1AF9w&feature=channel

Tonight as I write I am sad. A month ago tonight, might life was "right". Great job, great people, loving family. I had just had dinner with Jesse and had just snuggled in to watch Kindergarten Cop. We sent Joey off to bed and finished the movie. I shewed him off to bed because he had school in the morning.

The next day he was gone.

I'm not alone in missing him. Countless others. Nothing more heartbreaking than watching 13 years old miss their friend. Sisters and a brother...a dad...its horrible.

3/3 is tomorrow. Diagnosis dates are an anniversary we all remember. I will be wearing my 3/3 hat tomorrow in remembrance of Jesse's sad anniversary. I will be going out to eat with his close friends, his dad, my kids, and of course Charles and our friends. Together. Funny how something like this makes you forget all the other things.

Samantha, his sister, and her friend Karly filmed this video just weeks before he died for a school project. What you don't see off camera is how he fought with us and didn't want to film it - he was SO tired of talking about his diabetes.

This is how I will forever remember my Jesse. We love you little man. Your heart is big, your smile bigger. Love, Mom

A note from Jesse

2010-02-23T15:10:00.000-08:00

So I haven't had the best day. I would call it a "beating myself up" day. I finally go to the mailbox to find a letter from his teacher. Her note says:

Hi, Michelle. Here's Jesse's writing assessment - so sweet!"

It goes on to tell me that his items await me at school that they cleaned out his locker and that they have created a display case set up as a memorial to Jesse and that kids stop by it every day to pay respects.

I open up his assessment and know full well that Jesse sent it to me in his own little handwriting. It goes like this:

My mom is a very courageous person. She does many things to show how courageous she is. She always does brave things to make my life easier, even if they are difficult.

My mom's name is Michelle Alswager. She always does things to help me. One of the biggest things is she applied for a job at JDRF, a place where they raise money for research about diabetes. She got the job and helped a lot in the community.

My mom is also courageous for her athleticism. In 2006, she began intense training to bike one-hundred and five miles in Death Valley, California. She would bike sixty-five miles every week about three times. She went to Death Valley and completed the one-hundred and five miles in the desert. She enjoyed it so much that she did it four more times!

Then she wanted a harder challenge. SHe decided to attempt Ironman, Madison, WI, a triathlon. Except she couldn't swim and she didn't run. But that did not stop her. She began swimming lessons and started running. She finished Ironman on time. I was so proud!

She is currently working on a making a documentary. It is about people with diabetes doing Ironman. She is working so hard on it. It is almost done. The documentary has taken about two years of filming and will play around the world in film festivals when it is done.

This year my mom got a new job at Brava Magazine. She wanted the job so much! Unfortunately, Brava closed down but my mom gathered her co-workers and planned a way to save the business. They found a new owner and saved Brava. Those are some reasons why my mom is a very courageous person!
____________

It was like getting the biggest hug on the planet....

For those of you who never met Jesse

2010-02-16T21:38:00.000-08:00

Jesse did a lot of advocacy in his 13 years. Please enjoy these short commercials he filmed with his good friend, Aaron Liebe (also diagnosed at age 3) over the years to support a fundraiser called "thunder run". If you can get through the commercials, please enjoy the beginning of the outtakes. I smile EVERY time because listening to him talk about bugs, and his shirt that is too big, and Aaron screwing up his lines...THAT was Jesse.

Life Sentence - Jesse Alswager passes away at age 13

2010-02-12T18:56:00.000-08:00

I don't have words. But I know I have to give you some. It has now been 10 days since Jesse died unexpectedly to complications of his type 1 diabetes. Tonight my family - now only 4 - went to dinner to try to feel some sense of normalcy...

Those first few days I kept saying to everyone in a fog, "How can I go on telling people its not a death sentence? I've lied to them..."

Joe Brady, a good friend and a Triabetes athlete showed up the next day with a poem he claims was written with divine intervention. Framed, it sits next to me, I write it below:

Life Sentence

Did I say these words to a hundred,
a thousand parents?

"My name is Michelle Alswager
and my son, like your child, has type 1 diabetes
but don't worry,
it's not a death sentence."

My son Jesse, so little, diagnosed at age three
and so early gone at thirteen
I ask myself, what will I tell the parents now?
With eyes closed, I see my son..and know the answer:

Refuse with me to feel sorry for him
For he lived his diagnosis as a life sentence
with no time limit guarantee.

A life sentence to celebrate his days
touching others with his smile and patient ways
chilling with his school friends and neighbors
advocating with Governor, Congress, and doctors to find the cure.

Hanging with Dad at neighborhood parties
loving music, playing his sweet-sounding life melody
carving sharp, crisp lines with Sean on snowy slopes
laughing with brother and sisters at mom's corny jokes.

For him, beating the disease was to never
compromise, yield, submit or succumb
to an affliction whose victories
are counted with each lost possibility and
"can't do 'cause I've got type 1."

Never did he say "pity me" or "it's not fair"
Instead we heard "what's next?" and "let's go" and "cool!"
as he lived his life sentence.

So Please hear me, dear parent with newly diagnosed type 1,
not once did my son yield, submit or succumb
his life was rich, vibrant, a celebration...
Jesse didn't lose - he won.

~Joe Brady

Godspeed Jesse. We keep fighting for you and mom misses you and wishes you were here.

The Science of Inspiration: Diabetes and Athletes

2009-12-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

So the question I hear the most right now: "WHEN can I see the Triabetes documentary???!!!"

So the Triabetes project has official been named in the documentary as: "The Science of Inspiration: Diabetes and Athletes". I trust Nella's genius on this - she's the one with the emmy awards, not I!

We are now entering the documentary into film festivals. While doing so, most of them request that we not show the documentary to the public until its gone through the festival process.

Hang tight. It's coming! But we'd like the doc to get the credit it deserves, mama would like a new trophy on her shelf and I don't mean bowling.

Anne's Blood Sugars during IM AZ

2009-11-25T11:55:00.001-08:00

Anne's blood sugar during her race last weekend. I'm sharing for those of you who usually think of diabetes as shots, testing and watching what you eat. As you can see, their lives are much more complicated, 24/7.

The ladies of Type 1 take on Ironman Lake Placid - you in?

2009-11-24T19:33:00.000-08:00

Now that the second generation of Triabetics has raced an Ironman last weekend in Arizona, it makes me ponder my own racing intentions. I've gotten a little fat, I won't lie. I blame my busy job, but let's face it, I think it hasn't helped that my training buddies - Stacy, Miles and so on - have moved away. I don't have anyone texting me at 9:00 am on Saturday saying, "Get up, we're going biking".

Thanks to Jen Davino and Shannon Bounds - two type 1 women itching to do an Ironman - I think I have aspirations to sign up again.

On 7/25/2010 I will turn 41. On 7/27/11 I will race Lake Placid. Let's add some type 1 women to this amazing group - email me if you want in - curejesse@gmail.com.

This Damn Thing Needs a Title

2009-11-10T17:24:00.000-08:00

Wowser. What anticipation it was to have the not-so-rough "rough cut" in my hot little hands from Nella Citino. I drove over straight from work to pick up the dvd. I could tell she was nervous to hand it over.

I brought it home and threw everything else aside so I could watch it. Charles joined me.

I watched all 50 minutes getting caught up in what others will think. I know people with diabetes will learn from it. I know triathletes will enjoy it. But what about the mom of a newly diagnosed type 1 kid? What will she get from it? And what will someone get from it who isn't touched by diabetes or the crazy sickness called Ironman that some of us possess?

I held it together pretty well until the credits. What's funny, is the credits only say exactly that - "Credits". But in between each dark screen glared wonderful memories of the past two years.

Charles turned it off and said, "that was really good, Michelle." I got up to excitedly call Nella to tell her that fears of us not liking it were silly. I got through about 10 seconds before I blubbered. Like a big baby. Now if you know me at all - I am not the touchy feely girly type. So after I hung up and had a huge overwhelming cry...I cracked up hard. At myself.

I felt like I had some therapeutic epiphany. What was it I was feeling? I was feeling over 2 years of love for a project and a group of people that I care about. I'll be the first to admit since the athletes crossed the finish line and Peter & John have taken the Triabetes team to the next level...and ready to take it to even another level...I have sat back a little waiting for Nella to do her magic. Not exactly a disconnect from the project, but just a waiting process. The emotion I felt was crazy.

My brain went back to 3 major events in my life. Okay, maybe 5?
1. March 3, 2000, Jesse's little tired body, with salt-rimmed lips, getting his finger poked for the very first time. Age 3. How would I cope with this?

2. Picking up a bicycle to ride in the name of diabetes. January 2004, my first Ride to Cure Diabetes where I met this crazy diabetic named Stacy Cook. And this guy named Mike Runnels who had no connection to the disease and yet was choosing to ride for someone he cared about. I didn't know that these two people would become my best friends not only in riding, but in life, who have stuck with me through this project.

3. Signing up for my first Ironman. And thinking, "if a dude with diabetes can do this, I can do this." I did. Step 3 catapulted me into thinking people with diabetes need help getting to the finish line.

4. Dreaming up a documentary in a coffee shop with no experience in film, only a passion about the people I cared about with diabetes.

5. Today. 10 years later, so many names, faces, stories...all of us still working together to make life do-able until the cure.

I end this blog post with a moment of laughter for me. After the intro of the documentary, there is a really cool screen shot that moved me personally because the shot contained very personal items of mine related to this journey. Clearly this was the title shot of the movie. And what did Nella write?

"This Damn Thing Needs a Title."

So very near the finish line.....thanks for waiting for us at 11:52 pm as we finish strong together.

38 miles on your bike makes you think

2009-10-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

Ugh. Seriously...UGH. I have neglected my body and my bike for way too long. Work has been so busy (yes I know you are the choir and I am preaching) that I have stopped doing what makes me feel the best - cycling.

It's almost November and if you have ever been to Wisconsin you know that a day like today can be 20 degrees and a blizzard, or you can luck out and it is 62 degrees and sunny. Today was one of those days.

I took the time to put air in the tires (I'm embarrassed to tell you they were down to like 30 lbs each), get the water bottles, and saddle up with my newly reshuffled itunes mix (Black Eyed Peas and I Got a Feeling will launch you over any hill) and hit the road to Paoli. As I biked on I got lost in my thoughts. Work this, work that, celebrities this, exhibitors that. Then it went to the Triabetes premiere, donations rolling in to launch us that last bit...

The leaves were crunching under my tires (I could hear it in between Beautiful day by U2 and While I was jamming to Switch by Will Smith) and finally caught myself smiling.

Signing up with a huge group of fantastic type 1 ladies to do Ironman Lake Placid '11....well today that did not seem out of reach. In fact, it seemed important to set myself on that path.

Today is a good day.

In the studio with Nella

2009-10-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day for me. Nella was ready to show me the "rough cut" of the documentary. Watching the story unfold, listening to the music as it flowed with the story, was quite exciting to me.

If you haven't gotten your tickets yet to see the Triabetes premiere in AZ on 11/21, well you better get it in gear!

"I believe this documentary will change lives. I know, because it has already changed mine. "

2009-09-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Simple words that I read today from Triabetes athlete, Anne Findlay. Simple, yes, but the sentiments I believe all of us who were lucky enough to be part of the Triabetes project feel. From the first days securing the original twelve...to today where thousands of type 1 athletes find us, sign up and train to do a 5K race....a 100k bike...or the unthinkable.

Ironman.

What are the facts?

The premiere: November 21st in Tempe, AZ Want to attend it? Email peter@insulindependence.org.

Who will be there? Our goal is to have all 12 athletes and their "triabuddy" (formerly Ironkidz) at the event.

Why Tempe? A new generation of Triabetes athletes will be racing the next day in Ironman AZ.

Where can I see the documentary after that? We hope to show the documentary in hometowns (such as mine, Madison, Wisconsin), distributed throughout Internet sites that are willing to show hi-def documentaries, and through the Diabetes Health Network - doctors offices throughout the world!

We received generous contributions from sponsors and individuals. We want to tell the world about these amazing athletes - because simply. It changed Anne's life. And mine. And maybe even...yours.

Please help. We are very close to reaching our goal of distributing the dvd not just by the Internet, but other venues.

The last push. This is it. Have you been inspired by the journey? Whatever you can do.......matters to us.

If you can help, please give:

https://www.z2systems.com/np/clients/insulindependence/campaign.jsp?campaign=24&team=6&fundraiser=7134

This project - these people - have changed my life. And you have been part of the journey. And I thank you.

Now, go watch the clips again at www.triabetes.org. Be inspired.....

Giddy...and Ironman Documentary PREMIERE!

2009-08-27T19:23:00.001-07:00

Hi, kids. I hope you've missed me at least a little. Time to play a little blogging catch up. I was working today (have I told you already that BRAVA magazine is alive, kicking and a helluva lot of fun?!) Anyway, our resident fashionista, Mollie Shambeau, was putting together our blog (check it if you are bored, I think we crack ourselves up - www.bravaintheknow.wordpress.com) and I thought, "I think its time for a Triabetes update."

Nella, the guts behind this project, is currently putting together a pretty "rough cut". People have been submitting amazing tunes that will set the stage and catapult these Triabetes athletes forward on a big screen.

I got an email the other day from Peter Nerothin, king of Ironkidz, Insulindependence, and temporary Colorado resident (he moved across the street from Johnny Moore!!!). He teased my brain by sending a marquee from a theatre...in Tempe, AZ.

Drum Roll....

I have goosebumps when I tell you the documentary is set to premiere in Tempe, AZ, November 21st, the day before even more Triabetes team members embark on a new Ironman adventure...

Stay tuned.......

Triabetes Radio

2009-06-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

You heard me right....

http://triabetesradio.podbean.com/

Triabetes - the Next Generation

2009-06-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

Where have I been, you ask? Where have I been? Errr...well lots has happened. The magazine I worked for (and loved) suspended operation on 4/10, 14 of us walked out with boxes, sadly, not knowing if it would reopen. In those two months, we worked hard and found a new investor and will happily be back to work soon enough.

But more importantly, I've spent some time working on the distribution of the documentary - lots of exciting news on that front, but can't tell you yet....

So instead, I'd like to take a moment to highlight members of triabetes that go beyond the original twelve. My focus was always the documentary itself, while Peter Nerothin and the team at Insulindependence worked hard to keep the momentum building to take the team to newer and greater heights, quite successfully in fact.

Case in point, here is Casey Boren, who you may be seeing on Twitter as "Triabetic", does an interview is Boise, Idaho about his upcoming races. Go, Casey!

Follow Casey on Twitter at Insulinpowered.

http://www.kivitv.com/global/video/flash/popupplayer.asp?vt1=v&clipFormat=flv&clipId1=3848839&at1=News&h1=Boise&rnd=28047572

An Easter Drowning would not be cool...

2009-04-12T19:58:00.001-07:00

Ok, so today we all wake up fresh, Brian goes for a Madison 13 mile-ish run, I'm up cooking the ham, and then preparing all the food...

So late in the day I have the Triabetes crew of Brian, Nella, Ray and Elisa here along with my family and Charles' family. The pool has been shocked one time only, its still COLD in Wisconsin people! So, imagine our surprise as we here a splash and realize 6 year old Mason is in the pool and Joey is screaming it. Everyone runs. But in the time it took for me to run to the pool, Brian, marathon superstar, is already in the pool. We were all in rescue mode, but Brian was sauced including his blackberry (nonfunctioning), dexcom cgm (nonfunctioning) and his Animas pump (functioning!!!). Sigh.

After the excitment the kids re-enacted the wonderful excitment on facebook for us. We all laughed as they imitated me "oh, my triabetes ATHLETE is saving someone! He's amazing!". Hm...Offended, I was. But, a good sport. (ok, not really a good sport, but I pretended to be.)

So he saves the boy, we have fun...Triabetes rocks on, Easter style....

In the Studio!!!!!!!!

2009-04-11T21:26:00.000-07:00

We are in the studio again!

Hello, we're back! What a fun day! Brian Foster, participant in the Triabetes documentary, flew in this morning to narrate the film. A few props were put in place, mic checks, ironing, and read-throughs and we were off!

Nella Citino and Ray Ibsen of Andiamo Productions directed Brian through the camera work and we had so much fun giggling through the outtakes (believe me, there were many). Charles' new bike (see previous post) ended up being the backdrop to the entire shoot and it looked pretty cool. We go through the filming and then after some lunch, hit the voice-overs. Just hearing Brian retell the story was goosebump worthy!

Back to the house for dinner and a quick clean up as not only my family is coming over for Easter, but Charles' family AND Brian along with the entire Andiamo family crew! I haven't really counted, but I think that's about 22 people...... looking forward to hanging out and talking about the rough cut that is about to be prepared.

I smell a documentary about to be born.... stay tuned (and please, God, I hope Ray uses that footage of me acting like Molly Shannon, shouting "SUPERSTAR!". I think it was Oscar worthy.

Charles gets a sweet ride...

2009-03-13T19:43:00.000-07:00

A little off the Triabetes beaten path, but it is fun to post that Charles now has a sweet new ride! We spent the entire afternoon at "bike-o-rama", a tradition I attend every year! Bike-o-rama consists of everything you need to start biking, keep biking, and everything you don't need but want to buy anyway.

When Charles and I met, he probably didn't see road biking in his future. Today he walked proudly out of the sale with a Fuji Roubaix ride, Crank brothers pedals, sidi shoes, Rudy Project helmet, pearl isumi shorts, gloves, water bottle cages and a wireless computer to track the distance he rides his first season!

In 2004 I walked in to bike-o-rama myself and hadn't a CLUE what to get, had my hand held figuratively as I picked out my first gear - it felt good to share the knowledge and get him set up and smiling on his way out the door.

Tomorrow it is 51 degrees here in Madison, Wisconsin! WOOHOO! It's time for the traditional Paoli loop at 11:00 am with friends tomorrow.... hope I see you out there! In the meantime, in case you are wondering I only bought a pair of Shebeest tri shorts! They are hot!

Wisconsin Radio Network - 70 stations broadcast Triabetes

2009-03-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry, inundating you with news today, but in an unrelated moment, the Wisconsin Radio Network contacted me about doing an interview about President Obama's executive order that reverses George W. Bush's decision on stem cells funded by federal money.

In 2004 Jesse and I spoke with Tammy Baldwin and Governor Doyle about the importance of letting scientists do the science, and letting moral values be something decided on a personal level. The Wisconsin Radio Network asked for an interview to follow up today on that 2004 interview.

please give it a listen....click here to view and listen!

The Interview!

2009-03-10T16:11:00.000-07:00

Here's the video from CNBC's "Dlife" episode. Spread the word!

Click here: Triabetes DLife Interview

3//3 - you've all seen the hat, what's the story behind?

2009-03-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

Today is 3/3. You've seen me wearing my 3//3 hat everywhere that mimics the one created by Lance Armstrong (10//2) which referred to the date he was diagnosed with cancer and his life changed forever.

3/3/2000 was the day Jesse was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Some people may think its an odd day to celebrate, and yet most people with "d" can tell you their "anniversary date".

Today was his 9th anniversary. We ate burgers, fries and shakes at Sonic. Rage against the machine, I guess.

How do you celebrate yours?

What if someone said, "Wow, so tell us more about why you eat mac n cheese?

2009-02-27T16:40:00.000-08:00

That's how I felt about getting asked to fly to NYC to talk about the Triabetes Documentary. To me, it's like talking about something that is so second nature at this point, it amazes me that someone cares what I have to say! Not to belittle the project AT ALL! My point is that is just part of my day, I look at them like, "Why are you interested in how I parallel parked my car?"

All kidding aside, I'm a little nervous posting this because I haven't actually SEEN the clip that was filmed on the set of Dlife about a month ago in NYC. I'm actually nervous it will be like 6 seconds and I will be horribly embarrassed, but what the heck, I've never been a shy girl, why start now?

Check your local listings but the episode will appear on Dlife and it is my understanding it will be March 8th at 7 pm est. If you miss it, don't worry, I'm narcisistic so I'll probably show up at your house and knock to remind you that you can re-watch it on the www.dlife.com website soon after.

I received word that Brian Foster will be flying in to narrate the film on 4/4-4/6th and the script Nella and Ray of Andiamo Productions have built was the first time I really envisioned the film from beginning to end. Those two are rockstars.....

Anyway, I hope you tune in. I hope you tell your friends. I hope you don't mind the yard sign I planted in your lawn.

Sometimes, diabetes just goes wrong...

2009-02-23T17:59:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted in a long time, but lots of good things are happening in the documentary world. Brian Foster is coming to Madison 4/4 and 4/5 to finish up the film narration. My interview on Dlife will appear on CNBC at 7 pm est on 3/8. Last week I was interviewed by Scholastic Parent & Child Magazine and the article will be out on 5/1 (3.5 million readers!)

Anyway, I'm blogging today not about successes, but about feeling a little bit like a failure, as a "d" mom today. Jesse is in middle school and for all I knew, his diabetes control was good. I fought hard to keep the nurse out of his business as he is old enough to deal with testing, monitoring, etc.

The last month our house has been filled with colds and flu. It was no surprise he wasn't feeling well and missed some school. "Jesse dinner's ready, what's your blood sugar?" "A little high mom, 208, I'll give myself a unit."

I walked through the kitchen and his lethargic behavior over the last month was eating away at me, so I checked his meter sitting on the counter. Last blood sugar: 368. Horrified, I read through the last readings and without getting into it, lets just say it said "HI" more than once. I was furious.

Now this is where being a "d" mom is difficult. I realize blood sugar testing is not like forgetting to pick up your socks off the bedroom floor, forgetting to brush your teeth or to do your homework. But as a mom, I struggle with what is "right". In the end, I grounded him for lying. He lied. Moving forward we agreed that anytime his bs is over 250, he will tell me so we can manage it together. So far so good, but man....I'm so sick of this disease. I just want to fight about his socks and underwear on the floor.

Thank goodness I have so many adult friends with diabetes. They keep me sane.

Grab a sandwich, a kleenex, and watch our new clip

2009-01-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

I seriously cannot believe it is already 2009. Seems like yesterday it was September 2007 and a bunch of people I had never met were flying in and staying at my house so they could sign up for Ironman 2008. Today Andiamo Productions released a new clip about Ironkidz and the Triabetes documentary. I love how the story has evolved into more than a story about a few great people doing Ironman. It has become the story also of a great group of kids who set out on an adventure on a river to learn about themselves, only to find strength in meeting a Triabetes athlete and helping to cheer them across a finish line. Those of us involved in the project knew it would be inspiring for the kids. What I didn't expect was how pivotal it was for the athletes themselves. Please enjoy the next little segment about a project that doesn't come from just my heart - it comes from the heart of many. Please spread the word. We can't do it without all of you...

http://vimeo.com/2722286

Sometimes, the real job kicks in, right?

2008-11-17T20:11:00.001-08:00

Wow. Have you missed me??? I've missed you! I was watching some emails fly today from the Triabetes 2008 team and it made me feel like bringing you all up to speed on our lives.....

My job at brava magazine has proven to be one of the best job moves in my entire life. For those of you who don't know, I work for Kristin Erickson, publisher of brava, who I met when her son, Sean, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes almost 2 years ago. I featured her at my JDRF gala (best one you'll ever see, baby) and when she found out I was back on the market, she hired me up in seconds as her Marketing & Events Director. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to have earned this position. I'm in charge of something called the Madison Women's Expo (www.MadisonWomensExpo.com) where 8000 women and 200 vendors come together to just kind of celebrate chica-land. Two celebs, Tim Gunn (of Project Runway fame) and Debbie Reynolds (pinch me when I called her office to say the photos they sent for the article just weren't doing it for me and they sent me original photos from Debbie's scrapbook from Singin' In the Rain and the Unsinkable Molly Brown...helllooo?????) are coming and lets just say putting this event on feels like a JDRF gala x 10. LOVE IT. I have about 20 people in the office who surround me, support me and damn it they are just as goofy. Creative? Wow, what a refreshing change of pace!!!!

As I finish up this huge event this weekend, I'm happy to say that Triabetes is working hard with Team Type 1 to bring you something big...something huge...something real....cohesive. Stay tuned. I'm so proud to see the diabetes & sports world coming together instead of splintering off.

Steve Ahn sent us a quick note...his wife is due soon to have their third (he's busy during IM training, isn't he folks?) and let us know his wife has had some difficulties, but he emailed his old teammates - to let us all know so we can pull for him. Every time I see a Triabetes athlete name in my inbox, I'm so happy. I do miss them terribly.

A few of them are racing Ironman Arizona this weekend (go Triabetes!) and Triabetes 2009 is well underway. For now, I sit back and watch Nella and Ray work their magic on the documentary as I try to wrap my arms around distribution - what is the right venue for this beautiful movie? Hulu? Vimeo? I mean, viral is HOT right? Film festivals, local viewings, so much to consider...and so much to learn, this executive producer knows well she's new to the scene. We all stay motivated, we all fight to bring the story beyond the day....stay tuned....

I hear videos rock in hi-def....

2008-10-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

ah...YEAH! WOW!

It's been awhile since I posted to the old blogster. :) What's to say other than the team is desperately missing each other. It's funny. We became a family, I think. I talk to Anne almost daily. An email from Steve, or John, Peter...Nate...they are all met with a smile.... I miss everyone.

But, here is some candy. Nella and Ray of Andiamo did a fabulous job. I love that Bascom Hill Band - a local band that I started following a few years ago through my friend Stacy - not only let us use their music, but are handing over their "yet-to-be-released" new stuff. How do you like dem apples?????? I cannot WAIT!

For now.... ENJOY...and PLEASE...share.... (I am bad at sharing too, but just this once, ok?)

http://vimeo.com/1871013

Love,
M

Triabetes Ironfans

2008-09-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I shamelessly led out this blog entry with a picture of my lovely teen, Samantha. It's rare that Sam pays a whole lotta attention to what mom does unless what mom is doing is somehow inappropriate (ok, ok that happens a lot). But 5 minutes ago she and I were watching a top secret double-probation reel that Nella sent over today that just blew me out of the water. She showed some footage with a local fav band of mine playing. I was incredibly moved once again.

I realized as I was subjecting all of my children to watching it for the 100th time and saying "SHHHH! I'm trying to hear this part!" that Sam was once again wearing her Ironfan shirt. And I looked over and so was Jesse. We won't headcount Joey because it never matters what he is wearing because it is always covered in cat hair. If you knew him at ALL you would understand that comment.

Ironfans. I need a moment to talk about them. Wow. Did they show up in #s or WHAT? Over 200 tshirts were printed and worn by friends and family. I always new the shirts would serve many purposes - I mean, this wasn't my first trip to the big show, baby. I knew it would serve purpose, but I am going to share with you a few times it really counted.

Swim start - I'm manning the table of ziplock bags filled with diabetes gear and glucose and I hear "Michelle! Michelle!" Two of my favorite triabetes fans are standing there cheering and congratulating me - Jenny and Mike Wimmer (psst they signed up for 09). They found us. All of the sudden I spot Joe's wife, Cindy, in her shirt and it allows us to stand together with Joe's family as we hear the gun go off.

The swim is over and it's time to head up to headquarters so I can debrief and head out to the bike course. A huge family comes running up and says, "Excuse me, do you know Peter Nerothin? I'm his dad and this is his family." Step right up Nerothin family, head up to headquarters and get some Ironfan shirts (later at the finish Peter exclaims to me, "Michelle! Did you meet my family??" A wink and a nod - of course I did!). Stop at Einstein bagel to grab quick coffee and food with Stacy Cook on our way out to the bike course and an adorable little girl and her family stop us to say they watched about our team on the news and the little girl was just diagnosed with type 1 within weeks. Out come some Ironfan shirts for the new fans and they went out to watch! A lady in Chicago cheering on the course comes up to say her mom has diabetes. The race course officials talk to me as Brian Foster tests and gets food and tells me how cool they think our project is. Ironfans. Brian is low on the run course - good thing we can spot people in Ironfan shirts for surely they will know how to help him!

And now we are at the finish line. I'm stopped literally every time I walk up and down the bleachers to hear, "we heard about you guys! My child has diabetes...my mom has diabetes...." and of course, the guy who just finishes Ironman and is hugging and kissing his wife, sees me and comes running over, grabs me and says, "I've been seeing you guys all day! Please! Meet my wife! I want her to do Ironman with me but she says she can't because she has diabetes." And out comes an Ironfan shirt for someone I hope one day becomes a Triabetic herself.

Literally, I saw Stacy Cook give her Triabetes Ironfan shirt....right off her back. Not kidding (and yes this was a very popular moment on the Midtown hill where many a triathlete thanked her and blessed her for her bikini moment.)

Triabetes Ironfans. I thank you. They thank you. We couldn't have done it without you.

Isn't that something? We started this to bring awareness....I guess we reached at least one of our goals....

Roughed Out Can Be Rough

2008-09-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

I went over to Ray and Nella's last night to take a look at the footage that was shot for the documentary. It's amazing how much there really is. Nella has a studio all set up in her house so we grabbed a few sodas and plugged away. It was really exciting for me to see the footage. And there are some really funny parts that I hope I can convince Nella to put into a blooper real for all of us.

Nella's creative brain was working overtime. We had lots of thoughts about the movie...the direction, the feel, the emotion, and even things like the music. Nella and I got to talking and thought it might be great to feature Madison area musicians to give it that local feel. I have to say I love the idea and have already contacted some musicians who want to take part in the project.

So patience is key while I wait for Nella to keep chopping and editing ....

No...tell me how you REALLY feel....

2008-09-15T21:33:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to sum it up in words. What I feel, what it meant. Peter summed it up so beautifully on his blog, I feel no need to hog the spotlight on this topic. And Steve Ahn's blog made me cry....and Dave's I mean, just a big fat wow. So instead, here's what I'm doing... I'm sharing an email I got from Bill Carlson and my response. I hope you take a moment to read it.

Bill:
Michelle,
Late now in california and I haven't yet called you. Yes, Carlson a real stooge. Hey, that project was really terrific. What a great idea for the 12 of us to get together and create the Triabetes team. You made the event really fun with the Tee-shirts, your local talent for the course preview, staying at your place for a couple of days, the fabulous riding jersey and Bucky Tee, and of course the Chinese food and beer. I loved that meal.

Thank you so much for all your help in this project. Now that the game is over we have so much more to do with the production and the media to follow so we can really make a huge statement to people out there with diabetes.

So many folks in Wisconsin will hear our story and will be getting off the couch this winter to get to the gym versus potatoe skins, football on TV, and beers. My calling is to be cheer leader but surely you take the prize as the Madison Princess of Diabetes and Athletics.

Are you coming out to the Tour of Palm Springs in February 2009? It's warm, gentle breezes, and about 2500 riders in beautiful sunshine to ride that cool bike of yours. Think about it.

Take care and hope to see again soon Ms. Curejesse.

Love and Kisses,
Mr. Bill

Michelle:
I saved your email to respond when I grabbed a thoughtful second. I still can't sum it up in words, what it meant to have everyone here. It was so surreal. To think back to when it started and how we got to this point makes me quite emotional. I watched lives transform before my eyes. To get to know everyone mostly via internet and then descend upon my life for a week was amazing and dreamy in some crazy way.

Out of the whole week it's hard for me to pinpoint a best moment. I know it should be related to the event itself....or the reception...or the finish line.... but it's not. Two events mean the most to me. First, having you, Chop and Peter hanging out with my friends - my closest friends - doing exactly what I would normally do on a Wednesday night...bike...talk some smack...get some beer and chinese...and hang out with people in the "d" world. It was special to share that with you guys. Second would be having dinner with Anne, Nella, and Ray along with my kids on the Tuesday after everyone else had gone home - and just grilled out, reminisced, and enjoyed one another. I guess its the personal moments that mean the most to me. Miles and Stacy came over for that too.

I guess you found out I tend to surround myself with some pretty cool people in the diabetes world....welcome to it.

As for Palm Springs, I'm sure I'll venture to Cali soon enough. Anne, Stacy and I are already planning a ride in Cali in January!!!!

Now...the real work begins....editing the documentary and putting together the hard work you created!

:)M

Stay tuned....more to come...

2008-09-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! We are in the process of doing post-interviews, editing the movie, finding distribution channels, updating the facebook "triabetes 2008" page and of course, updating the www.triabetes.org site to reflect the past, present and future.

I'm happy to announce that we will be blogging as we edit the film through the eyes of the filmmaker, Nella Citino. We thought it would be good for you to see the process of what it takes to get the film into production. It was a ton of work to get the movie "in the can." I can't imagine what sweat we will put into the rest of the process.

Keep checking back...there is so much more to come. And in the meantime, please read the athlete's blogs at www.triabetes.org - go to "media", then blog on the right. I know Steve Ahn, Dave Shack, and Peter Nerothin are completely updated!

Thanks for hangin' with us... and if you are interested in being part of the team in 09, give me a shout at curejesse@gmail.com!

See how it unfolded

2008-09-09T12:09:00.001-07:00

kudos to the folks at Sharendipity for turning us on to Twitter - you can see how the whole day unfolded..

Sat, 11:57:19 a.m.	see everyone at the Welcome Reception - Grey’s Tied House, 3 p.m.!
Sat, 09:13:45 p.m.	Hello world! What a great day - and thanks for being spotters for these athletes! cya manana….
Sat, 11:52:37 p.m.	man, why am I still up when I have to be up at 4:30 a.m.? Sigh…..

Sun, 06:19:09 a.m.	at HQ, getting ready! the BIG DAY
Sun, 06:21:00 a.m.	For those following us out on the course, send msgs to number 40404, and in the message body, type ‘@triabetes I saw so and so on here!’
Sun, 06:32:55 a.m.	the sun is coming up. gorgeous!
Sun, 06:33:54 a.m.	25 minutes until start…. clear sky’s; fingers crossed that it holds
Sun, 06:38:05 a.m.	the excitement is running hi! TONS of people at start… I can see them from the window! Jam packed.
Sun, 06:38:26 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/alkr
Sun, 06:38:42 a.m.	heading down in minutes…. photos on the way
Sun, 06:51:25 a.m.	Pros are off!!!!
Sun, 06:53:19 a.m.	Triathletes are getting into the water. 9 min until start. Many are in the water already
Sun, 06:55:03 a.m.	Wish sending photos was working. Perfect Start… Sun is up, mostly clear, high 50’s, a little breeze… Great!
Sun, 06:57:38 a.m.	Most of the athletes are in the water. Just heard a roar from then in the water
Sun, 06:58:12 a.m.	2200 athletes in the water

Sun, 07:00:05 a.m.	Holding the line… Boats getting out of the way… BANG…. Crowd goes crazy!!! They are off!
Sun, 07:00:29 a.m.	It is like white water! WOW
Sun, 07:01:17 a.m.	That is impressive
Sun, 07:04:53 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/almc
Sun, 07:07:34 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/almg
Sun, 07:12:33 a.m.	Swimmers are spreading out now
Sun, 07:14:32 a.m.	Pros are coming around for their second lap
Sun, 07:22:39 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/alo0
Sun, 07:23:11 a.m.	Mandatory bike-lust picture (sorry!)
Sun, 07:24:38 a.m.	Crowds spreading out over a half mile ok the lake.. Some very colorful shirts, some with slogans not appropriate for a family news feed
Sun, 07:26:47 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/aloa
Sun, 07:27:43 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/aloe
Sun, 07:29:15 a.m.	Hot air balloon coming over the lake where the swimmers are
Sun, 07:29:36 a.m.	Here come the pros….
Sun, 07:31:57 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/alon
Sun, 07:33:22 a.m.	Lots of coffee being consumed by this crowd
Sun, 07:34:59 a.m.	Ah, coffee, crowds, little kids all over the place doing what the do best (being cute)… And the smashing pumpkins blaring from speakers
Sun, 07:45:55 a.m.	those on the course who have cameras? call Adam (or come to HQ) and we’ll get them up on the web!
Sun, 07:51:08 a.m.	unscrewing safety locks on 8 story windows so we can get our banner out on the side of the building so people can see it… life is good
Sun, 07:54:07 a.m.	who is writing about triabetes today? send the links in!

Sun, 08:00:04 a.m.	getting prepared for bill carlson (bib # 1574) for coming out of the swim
Sun, 08:04:50 a.m.	bills IN! SMOKING time
Sun, 08:05:22 a.m.	He just ran by the triabetes supply table at the transition area
Sun, 08:08:30 a.m.	@SEAGER Still in the water…. bill just came out
Sun, 08:12:34 a.m.	I don’t know bill’s swim time exactly, but it was somewhere between 60-65 minutes…. for 2.4 miles? (swoon)
Sun, 08:16:49 a.m.	Bill swam in 1:03
Sun, 08:17:01 a.m.	athlete updates live at: http://tinyurl.com/68osuu
Sun, 08:18:02 a.m.	you need these bib numbers to track people: Ann (2079), Steve Ahn(778) Dave (501), Steve Chop (1148), Bill Carlson(1574)….
Sun, 08:18:50 a.m.	Brian (740), joe (1767), Aaron (204), Peter (426), John (543), Larry (1836), Steve Parker (1149)
Sun, 08:20:18 a.m.	you can hear the crowds 5 blocks away on the 8th fl of a building…the transition is happening!
Sun, 08:20:59 a.m.	message @triabetes if you would like specific updates on an athlete
Sun, 08:22:08 a.m.	Peter is in!!!!! That surprised us here as no one knew he was that fast
Sun, 08:23:12 a.m.	1:61:52 for peter. Peter, you are a GOD. Smoke the bike buddy!
Sun, 08:25:01 a.m.	Steve Ahn is just in… right behind peter…
Sun, 08:26:06 a.m.	ok, so this is a group of gods…. sharks really
Sun, 08:34:27 a.m.	the adrenaline is pumping at HQ….
Sun, 08:34:37 a.m.	bunch of athletes just came in, in a row
Sun, 08:34:54 a.m.	Steve parker: 1:30 (go steve!)
Sun, 08:35:30 a.m.	joe: 1:25 (nice joe!)
Sun, 08:38:14 a.m.	steve chop: 1:31…
Sun, 08:38:56 a.m.	lots of IronFans (triabetes supporters) on the ramp between swim and bike
Sun, 08:39:23 a.m.	they exit the lake and have to run up a helix car ramp up 4 stories to the top of a parking garage…. it is just lined with spectators!
Sun, 08:39:43 a.m.	The noise is unbelievable! we can hear it blocks away, and those who are there say it is wild
Sun, 08:40:31 a.m.	Dave’s out! 1:32…. great time dave
Sun, 08:44:28 a.m.	haha… just received a note saying dave’s alive. you bet he is!!!
Sun, 08:45:00 a.m.	Perry’s out. 1:40. All right perry!
Sun, 08:45:29 a.m.	for many, the swim is the toughest leg; while it is the first, so you are fresh, it can just take a lot out of ya…
Sun, 08:45:49 a.m.	the word is that they are looking QUITE good
Sun, 08:46:16 a.m.	Larry Smith is out!
Sun, 08:46:32 a.m.	brian is out!
Sun, 08:48:37 a.m.	oh oh… we are getting word that brian came out with peter…but the tracker doesn’t show him having come out of the water. We’ll find him
Sun, 08:53:00 a.m.	everyone is out
Sun, 08:53:36 a.m.	anne is out at 1:46
Sun, 08:54:00 a.m.	larry was out in 1:41
Sun, 08:54:14 a.m.	and John came out with Ann at 1:46
Sun, 08:54:48 a.m.	the triabetes table at the transition area says that brian did indeed come out quite early…. but the tracker isn’t showing that.
Sun, 08:54:59 a.m.	shoot! I hope his chip is working!
Sun, 08:57:49 a.m.	so all athletes are on the bike course… time to go grab some coffee! brb

Sun, 09:09:22 a.m.	word from @ClaudiaLaycock is that anne picked up bike and is through the transition area
Sun, 09:09:44 a.m.	she was on Aaron’s heel
Sun, 09:19:22 a.m.	a bunch of family and volunteers have been stopping by; getting directions, extra tee-shirts, and saying hello. Feel free to do the s a.m.e!
Sun, 09:22:35 a.m.	dave dropped some kit (not sure what…) in the transition area…and asked michelle to look around…so that is what they are doing
Sun, 09:43:06 a.m.	families are popping up out of the woodwork at triabetes HQ; nice folks
Sun, 09:43:42 a.m.	the triabetes folks at the transition area are back; they are completely jazzed. Everyone was looking fantastic
Sun, 09:51:09 a.m.	to put bill’s swim time of 1:03 in perspective, the pro’s were finishing it in 55 minutes; bill was only 8 minutes behind them. hot
Sun, 09:58:37 a.m.	NOTICE: Brian Foster’s chip is NOT working. if you see him, let him know.

Sun, 10:01:45 a.m.	the weather is changing… it was getting quite warm but now it is getting a hazy and overcast…. fingers crossed that it is not a storm
Sun, 10:03:16 a.m.	people have asked about blood-sugars. Only one athlete was a little low…everyone else was just about perfect.
Sun, 10:04:51 a.m.	bill and Brian just passed Mt. Horeb
Sun, 10:09:01 a.m.	NOTICE: brian foster knows his chip is not working… he needs to tell an official or transition person (someone in green)
Sun, 10:22:12 a.m.	Hello to Dr. Matt from the Triabetes HQ crew!
Sun, 10:27:42 a.m.	JR from insulindependence is on his way to HQ!
Sun, 10:28:19 a.m.	The finish line is getting setup (though we have some time!)
Sun, 10:32:18 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/am9b
Sun, 10:33:11 a.m.	Ah, some pre-race jitters on the sidewalk; no photo needed
Sun, 10:35:20 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/am9h
Sun, 10:36:44 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/am9s
Sun, 10:41:46 a.m.	http://twitpic.com/amat
Sun, 10:42:15 a.m.	Bill is headed back into Verona on Midtown Rd. Yeah Bill!!!
Sun, 10:42:34 a.m.	Folks relaxing at the starbucks right at the finish line; they are doing mucho business
Sun, 10:53:52 a.m.	They are putting a new chip on brian’s shoe

Sun, 11:08:03 a.m.	Peter and Brian are headed into Verona. Way to go guys!!!
Sun, 11:09:02 a.m.	Estimating bill hitting the next transition between 1:10 and 1:20
Sun, 11:13:50 a.m.	estimating that P is going to finish the bike in 5:45. just tested in the 400s. run estimate=3:45
Sun, 11:14:38 a.m.	race photos on the triabetes facebook page!
Sun, 11:16:28 a.m.	Steve Ahn on Old Sauk Pass- yeah Steve!!!
Sun, 11:17:16 a.m.	Multiple bill sightings throughout Verona. Keep the updates flowing!
Sun, 11:18:04 a.m.	@ClaudiaLaycock thanks for the update.
Sun, 11:18:10 a.m.	Bill is almost halfway- you’re a rockstar.
Sun, 11:21:06 a.m.	What a town. There are runners and bikers all over the place.
Sun, 11:21:56 a.m.	Streams of spectators on bikes heading to Verona. I’m not one of them; on a bus instead
Sun, 11:22:58 a.m.	Aaron just left Mt. Horeb
Sun, 11:30:45 a.m.	Triabetes pics: http://tinyurl.com/69rmu3
Sun, 11:31:25 a.m.	@tricia with some updates (thanks!). Brian and pete still neck and neck, passing the half way mark
Sun, 11:32:14 a.m.	John Moore just went thru stagecoach
Sun, 11:32:26 a.m.	Chris letting us know from the bike course that there is some grade A partying going on. People are having a great time
Sun, 11:33:31 a.m.	Chop, Ahn, and Brady at Midtown.
Sun, 11:35:07 a.m.	The weather is cooling off a bit, with just a slight breeze. Mid to high 60’s
Sun, 11:35:27 a.m.	NOTICE: Does anyone know if Bill is near Verona?
Sun, 11:36:31 a.m.	John Moore on Timber now.
Sun, 11:37:03 a.m.	Parker is on Old Sauk Pass
Sun, 11:39:19 a.m.	Anne is on Old Sauk- way to go Anne!!!!!
Sun, 11:43:30 a.m.	It is a festival out here on the bike course! Thousands of spectators tailgating…
Sun, 11:45:45 a.m.	Bill just got on 92
Sun, 11:45:49 a.m.	16 yr olds on security detail… You don’t see that everyday
Sun, 11:47:32 a.m.	Steve anne just went by Verona HS
Sun, 11:48:20 a.m.	Steve Parker, Anne Findlay, John Moore on Timber Lane- keep it up guys!!!
Sun, 11:52:41 a.m.	An athlete is about 6 min behind steve ahn…. Missed who it was
Sun, 11:54:49 a.m.	Ahn and chop passed half way mark
Sun, 11:55:18 a.m.	Bill passed 92 about 5 min ago
Sun, 11:55:55 a.m.	Hang in there P!!!
Sun, 11:58:36 a.m.	P is on Hwy G
Sun, 11:59:04 a.m.	People have a lot of energy on the bike here… They are universally jazzed

Sun, 12:02:51 p.m.	Miles, you’re the man. Rock on.
Sun, 12:03:33 p.m.	John just passed Verona HS. Looking fantastic, and giving a good wave
Sun, 12:10:31 p.m.	John Moore passed Verona hs about 8min ago
Sun, 12:12:17 p.m.	Bill just cleared Mt. Horeb
Sun, 12:18:04 p.m.	Steve 3.0 just went by Verona hs
Sun, 12:19:04 p.m.	Larry is through old sauk pass! good work!
Sun, 12:19:21 p.m.	Steve just passed Verona
Sun, 12:24:49 p.m.	501 passed Verona hs
Sun, 12:31:57 p.m.	Anne passed Verona, looking top notch
Sun, 12:34:29 p.m.	Dave passed verona hs 9 minutes ago
Sun, 12:38:22 p.m.	http://twitpic.com/amv1
Sun, 12:38:44 p.m.	Hockey on the course; anytime anywhere
Sun, 12:42:50 p.m.	Larry and Aaron at Midtown.
Sun, 12:43:36 p.m.	Wind picking up on the course
Sun, 12:43:45 p.m.	Peter and Brian passed J and Garfoot
Sun, 12:44:21 p.m.	The speedy ones are going through Verona now
Sun, 12:45:35 p.m.	The water stop is awesome… They are doing running handoffs
Sun, 12:48:17 p.m.	Some are coming off the hill towards the aid station and they are flying
Sun, 12:50:20 p.m.	The volunteers on the course are awesome.
Sun, 12:51:11 p.m.	When they make a successful handoff, there is pleasantries passed and they are excited
Sun, 12:57:45 p.m.	Aaron just went through Verona aid station. Cruising!

Sun, 01:03:52 p.m.	Bill Carlson passed S on Timber Ln. Bill is on fire!!!!
Sun, 01:05:53 p.m.	Blair is staked out on Mile 66
Sun, 01:08:47 p.m.	NOTICE: Blair has insulin at 102 mark
Sun, 01:10:23 p.m.	Blair you’re a rockstar.
Sun, 01:17:36 p.m.	HELLO WORLD: Bill Carlson has 21 left to go on the bike and requests a chili dog.
Sun, 01:18:53 p.m.	Steve Ahn headed to cross plains.
Sun, 01:23:24 p.m.	P is on Old Sauk Rd. Keep it up Nero!!!
Sun, 01:25:36 p.m.	Brian Foster is thru Old Sauk Rd. You’re the man, Big B.
Sun, 01:25:55 p.m.	Bill passed Verona aid station: at 102
Sun, 01:26:03 p.m.	We can hear cheering here at HQ!
Sun, 01:26:57 p.m.	Brady is on Garfoot to Cross Plains. Yeah Joe!!!!!!!!!!
Sun, 01:27:54 p.m.	Anne is headed into Mt. Horeb.
Sun, 01:28:42 p.m.	John Moore on Garfoot headed to Cross Plains.
Sun, 01:41:50 p.m.	Peter and Brian just finished Midtown Rd.
Sun, 01:51:33 p.m.	Peter FLEW through vernona
Sun, 01:52:01 p.m.	Brian was one min behind looking awesome
Sun, 01:59:24 p.m.	Aaron is out

Sun, 02:00:02 p.m.	chop is at midtown
Sun, 02:00:31 p.m.	Dave passed Mt. horeb about 10 min ago
Sun, 02:01:18 p.m.	SHOOT: Aaron dropped
Sun, 02:05:11 p.m.	Ahn thru Old Sauk
Sun, 02:06:06 p.m.	Leaving Verona with a full bus of spectators. There is an unbelievable amount of energy considering
Sun, 02:07:32 p.m.	Next to cyclists on bus; they are smoothly passing us
Sun, 02:09:13 p.m.	Oh man! Cyclist crashed at intersection. She got up but her bike looks trashed. Oh that sucks
Sun, 02:11:35 p.m.	I missed the fried milk curds at Verona. I guess I haven’t lived yet
Sun, 02:23:36 p.m.	Update about Aaron coming
Sun, 02:29:47 p.m.	Adam, yer da bomb :-p
Sun, 02:38:34 p.m.	Bill exited T2!!!
Sun, 02:40:01 p.m.	Brady over the big hill and heading towards verona
Sun, 02:41:32 p.m.	Joe had a low bg (38!) that he had to deal with; slowed him up bit I’m glad he can still go!
Sun, 02:45:29 p.m.	john moore cruised through verona and blair reports he is looking gooooood
Sun, 02:46:02 p.m.	for those following and concerned about Peter, we have placed extra insulin (needles and vials, plus 2 extra omni-pods) at T2
Sun, 02:46:58 p.m.	we are sending people to the start and end of the T2 transition to sync up with him…
Sun, 02:47:26 p.m.	SO, things are looking good
Sun, 02:48:07 p.m.	UPDATE: that was quick… it has been confirmed directly that Peter is OK
Sun, 02:50:09 p.m.	we are a bit behind on some updates….
Sun, 02:51:16 p.m.	BILL: did the bike at 6:07 and is out on the running course
Sun, 02:52:08 p.m.	Peter: 6:10 bike… yikes! he is also out on the run
Sun, 02:52:38 p.m.	the times we are getting are about 10-15 min delayed
Sun, 02:52:38 p.m.	the times we are getting are about 10-15 min delayed
Sun, 02:53:36 p.m.	oh shoot… the word on Brian’s chip was that it was accidently left on his shoe :(. So we’ll have times for him soon..
Sun, 02:54:00 p.m.	but when I saw him on Verona at 102 mile mark, he was about 1:30 min behind peter…and he was all smiles!
Sun, 02:55:39 p.m.	We cannot get information about aaron while he is in medical… they won’t allow that… We’re trying to get info from them….
Sun, 02:55:49 p.m.	but he is with medical; so he is with the pros
Sun, 02:57:56 p.m.	anne is at midtown

Sun, 03:00:02 p.m.	Peter and brian are together on the run… arm and arm! on the course together
Sun, 03:00:15 p.m.	parker at midtown!
Sun, 03:02:33 p.m.	dave should be just behind parker
Sun, 03:03:39 p.m.	so for you number folks… peter jumped up his ranking by 250 spots
Sun, 03:09:44 p.m.	blair got some good photos of John from the bus back to downtown from verona
Sun, 03:10:09 p.m.	oh oh…. getting hungry at HQ… feeling grouchy! but what do we have to complain about
Sun, 03:15:22 p.m.	ok, fingers crossed here…. larry is going to be close to the cutoff time for the bike (5:30).
Sun, 03:15:41 p.m.	CHOP is on the run! woa, wasn’t expecting that… he made some great cycling time
Sun, 03:17:20 p.m.	steve chop made some fantastic time on the bike: 6:25. well done steve!
Sun, 03:17:50 p.m.	reports are flying furiously right now… we have our agents sneaking around (but with dead cell phones)
Sun, 03:19:58 p.m.	Miles is down at the medical working on getting information about Aaron
Sun, 03:20:27 p.m.	and miles sure can talk…because he got the race officials to clone brian’s bike/run time off of peter’s… they normally would NEVER do that
Sun, 03:21:30 p.m.	miles; what is your secret?
Sun, 03:23:46 p.m.	I’m taking my transition lessons from Chop; he FLEW through T2… obviously itching for more pain on the run. go steve!
Sun, 03:27:49 p.m.	word from our secret sources is anne is looking MOST excellent, and smiling. what is WRONG with these people? I’m in pain and happy?
Sun, 03:29:11 p.m.	the stands are starting to fill for the pro’s crossing
Sun, 03:29:55 p.m.	the movie crew is moving onto the running course (well, most of them anyway). and saw that sexy brian just run by!
Sun, 03:30:52 p.m.	bill wants a chili dog… well bill, it is on the house!
Sun, 03:31:18 p.m.	the HQ is starting to fill up; time to refuel a bit before heading back on the course (and plenty of bathroom stops for the little ones)
Sun, 03:31:49 p.m.	the little guys are troopers! This is a long day with bus rides, weird eating schedules, little sleep… and they are hopping
Sun, 03:32:22 p.m.	they want to know as much about their athletes as possible; I wish I had something more specific!
Sun, 03:32:31 p.m.	We’ll send them back out again and let them scream to their hearts content
Sun, 03:33:00 p.m.	ahn is in t2
Sun, 03:33:21 p.m.	the crowd is going NUTZ outside
Sun, 03:35:32 p.m.	the pro’s must be close…the crowds outside are really going crazy; 5-8 deep on the sidewalks around here
Sun, 03:36:05 p.m.	the weather is holding out for us! slightly breezy, high 60’s, a bit hazy… we really lucked out so far (knock on wood!)
Sun, 03:37:08 p.m.	joe is in transition… but he is tightening up. Aleve to the rescue. Joe, you are doing very very well
Sun, 03:38:00 p.m.	Still working on finding about Aaron…. miles talked with the med folks and he isn’t with them (right now) and he isn’t in any hospital
Sun, 03:38:39 p.m.	We are wondering if he stopped at a medical tent but did NOT drop out after all…. We’ll keep you posted
Sun, 03:38:56 p.m.	drama, suspense, rumors… we bring it all!
Sun, 03:40:43 p.m.	Joe…. well done. HQ is very excited about your Transition. So is your wife
Sun, 03:41:40 p.m.	Larry is on Timber… he is just before the big hill… we are estimating 60-75 min until finish. SMOKE it larry!
Sun, 03:42:18 p.m.	Ray stopped in HQ… looking a bit sweaty but full of stories from the road. and swapping drives for the camera.
Sun, 03:42:55 p.m.	from ray… hard to shoot today…. shades coming in and out… messing up with the shots.
Sun, 03:43:27 p.m.	I’m getting in the way… asking ray too many questions…. oh, ray is telling me stories that I can’t really share. sorry!
Sun, 03:44:13 p.m.	I wonder if Ray got some of these stories on tape…. heh
Sun, 03:44:39 p.m.	john moore just came through transition
Sun, 03:46:33 p.m.	sighting of john moore from the 8th story.
Sun, 03:47:36 p.m.	ray got shots of everyone… and chatted them up
Sun, 03:48:19 p.m.	Steve Chop said all he wants to do is finish up and see his kids.
Sun, 03:48:33 p.m.	And pete wants a pizza…hahaha.
Sun, 03:50:44 p.m.	joe’s run just started…. I hope you are feeling a bit better joe!
Sun, 03:51:01 p.m.	ray almost got arrested! They didn’t have the proper credentials for the bike; they were threatened… but RAY…ray took it too them
Sun, 03:52:06 p.m.	john said he feels great and is not that tired… fast run to you john
Sun, 03:52:57 p.m.	ahn is fighting a headache…but clear pee. thanks steve (he lost his pricker, but is teating a lot now, went a bit high…but is clearing)
Sun, 03:53:45 p.m.	teating? I can’t spell! He is treating his high and is doing well. On the run and his numbers are coming back down
Sun, 03:56:33 p.m.	Bill said he was having a great day…. but that was after he lost it on the curb during transition… so I guess that is a good thing?
Sun, 03:56:51 p.m.	he is getting prepped for chili dogs
Sun, 03:58:21 p.m.	John is running very well… great transition time and he just jumped into the run… watch out

Sun, 04:00:52 p.m.	ohhhh… I’m looking at some of the footage from the course. Folks, you are in for a treat. the start footage is stunning
Sun, 04:04:02 p.m.	ray is very excited about the footage
Sun, 04:05:02 p.m.	the finish was spectacular…
Sun, 04:05:12 p.m.	(not that I saw it…but that is the word!)
Sun, 04:09:53 p.m.	brian is at picnic point
Sun, 04:10:13 p.m.	that is half way through the first loop… so pretty much at a 10k
Sun, 04:12:19 p.m.	Larry just went through verona… and going at a pretty good click
Sun, 04:13:42 p.m.	about 30-40 minutes to go until larry hits the transition. Go Larry!!!
Sun, 04:21:04 p.m.	bill is at the stadium; enjoying the screaming college students I’m sure… the roar in and around the stadium is supposed to be unreal
Sun, 04:22:35 p.m.	that puts bill about 3/4 through his first loop (of two)
Sun, 04:26:35 p.m.	oh! Ann is on the run!
Sun, 04:26:51 p.m.	wicked fast T2 time to boot
Sun, 04:26:55 p.m.	Nice bike ann; she made up some good time; jumping up in the rankings
Sun, 04:29:42 p.m.	michelle just came back…with some good stories
Sun, 04:29:53 p.m.	joe said “I got this thing”
Sun, 04:32:14 p.m.	aaron cramped terribly…. oh man, that just stinks (and that is saying it politely)
Sun, 04:35:00 p.m.	I missed out on the walking tacos…. frittos with chili. They are raving about it at HQ
Sun, 04:39:36 p.m.	brian is a crazy man out there today. Screaming for his cheerleaders
Sun, 04:45:36 p.m.	oh! brian just finished the half marathon. 8:05 mile. wowzers
Sun, 04:45:52 p.m.	oh! Dave just rolled into T2…and in VERY high spirits.
Sun, 04:50:20 p.m.	parker is in the transition!
Sun, 04:51:10 p.m.	Peter is now in the 2nd part of the marathon….
Sun, 04:51:15 p.m.	his split is looking good
Sun, 04:55:45 p.m.	anne passed through spring and randall on the run
Sun, 04:55:55 p.m.	right near the stadium
Sun, 04:58:36 p.m.	ah, the damage of kids left unsupervised in the HQ… little rascals!

Sun, 05:00:47 p.m.	dave is though the transition! I’m calling to get the scoop from the inside source (his wife!)
Sun, 05:01:47 p.m.	and steve parker just under the building about 4:50
Sun, 05:03:34 p.m.	brian is high on adrenaline right now… running across the street to give anyone in a blue shirt a hi-five. brian is an animal.
Sun, 05:05:51 p.m.	ok folks, cheer larry into T2!!!!
Sun, 05:14:52 p.m.	peter and brian are well on their way on the 2nd loop… it sounds like they are approaching or through the stadium
Sun, 05:15:24 p.m.	bill is approaching his first loop. Cheering for ya bill!!!!
Sun, 05:26:41 p.m.	NICE!!!!!!!!! Larry is in T2. go larry go!
Sun, 05:27:21 p.m.	all athletes on the course are now off the bike
Sun, 05:28:08 p.m.	@seager thank you for the updates!
Sun, 05:29:53 p.m.	it sounds like bill is finished with his first lap; he has been spotted on the course!
Sun, 05:34:23 p.m.	larry is out on the course and looking great
Sun, 05:35:16 p.m.	that is fantastic…. talking about gutz… he was close enough to the cutoff that they would have asked him if he wanted to stop the race
Sun, 05:35:54 p.m.	the fact that he is out on the course speaks volumes. Larry, hats off to you. Those watching; cheer him on like crazy
Sun, 05:37:23 p.m.	and larry had a great transition time; he focused and hustled out to the course
Sun, 05:43:21 p.m.	Sorry folks; trying to upload more photos but no luck. The view from hq is awesome
Sun, 05:54:55 p.m.	Ahn and Moore are on their way from the stadium.
Sun, 05:56:29 p.m.	Larry @ Spring and Randall 1st lap
Sun, 05:57:08 p.m.	Ahn, Brady, John back from Stadium

Sun, 06:05:53 p.m.	About 1k from the finish line, spotting for the crew. Lots of gritted teeth and determination
Sun, 06:07:21 p.m.	Heard that bill is still sick on the run, but he is utterly determine to finish…. And still cracking jokes
Sun, 06:09:25 p.m.	Sun is going behind the buildings. The temp is a bit chilly in the shade, which is probably just perfect.
Sun, 06:09:36 p.m.	Joe is c
Sun, 06:10:20 p.m.	Joe is coming in for his first loop… Looking tough and determined
Sun, 06:15:03 p.m.	The Boone boys (ahn and Moore) are running together, coming in for their first lap
Sun, 06:19:19 p.m.	Joe on his way back out for his last loop
Sun, 06:23:55 p.m.	Moore and ahn passed again, running together and cracking jokes between the two of them. Awesome
Sun, 06:39:42 p.m.	Peter is about to cross!!!!’
Sun, 06:40:25 p.m.	He is looking determined but with a VERY relaxed smooth gate
Sun, 06:41:36 p.m.	Just saw Anne! Coming through for completing her first lap. She looked focused. Go Anne!
Sun, 06:46:54 p.m.	Dave is cramping badly, and is going to finish but was planing on visiting an aid station to stretch it out and maybe pick something up
Sun, 06:47:31 p.m.	Pete crossed and it was perfect
Sun, 06:50:47 p.m.	Brian seriously cramped but the man is back on the course and within a few miles of crossing. Guts!

Sun, 07:06:22 p.m.	It is now 12hrs into this most grueling of races, and most everyone still says thank you when you cheer them on
Sun, 07:09:01 p.m.	As they once said ( but for something totally different) nuts!
Sun, 07:10:07 p.m.	Brian is getting very close and is looking STRONG. Cheer him in
Sun, 07:26:21 p.m.	Brian is meeting up with his buddy
Sun, 07:26:52 p.m.	As he said, it was hairy there for a bit, but he made it
Sun, 07:27:33 p.m.	And yes he did!!! With a smile
Sun, 07:32:29 p.m.	Parker is looking very solid. He wants a faster pair of legs, but he likes the rest of himself.
Sun, 07:39:24 p.m.	Dave is now on his second lap. He is hurting quite a bit but everything is showing a massive dose of grit. Let’s bring him home
Sun, 07:40:08 p.m.	Parker came back around to start his second lap with a good pick-me-up
Sun, 07:43:02 p.m.	There goes dave for his second lap, with a power fist in the air
Sun, 07:44:24 p.m.	These people are crazy
Sun, 07:44:48 p.m.	Stating the obvious of course!!
Sun, 07:46:13 p.m.	No updates on joe except that he started his 2nd lap about 100 min ago
Sun, 07:52:12 p.m.	“wet water. Come get your wet water. The best water in Wisconsin”
Sun, 07:54:25 p.m.	There are 9 on the course. Bring them home!
Sun, 07:57:52 p.m.	It is dark out here! Fall is here

Sun, 08:02:29 p.m.	Larry is coming around for his first lap, and he is looking like he has only run a half marathon. It was great to see him
Sun, 08:02:54 p.m.	Bill is passing mile 23
Sun, 08:03:15 p.m.	Go bill! The dude defines tough
Sun, 08:05:55 p.m.	Larry might have had a rough bike, but nothing is going to stop him now
Sun, 08:06:42 p.m.	He’s going to be testing soon, but all his kit is in working order
Sun, 08:20:58 p.m.	Steve chop is coming in with a singular focus. The man is finishing right now. Wow is he determined.
Sun, 08:22:56 p.m.	He saw me, kicked it up, and we were barely ready for him. He pulled that out of his suitcase of courage
Sun, 08:28:56 p.m.	The costumes are out! I’m sharing the street with batman and a roman…. Something
Sun, 08:31:41 p.m.	A guy I met on the plane, a stranger, is finishing!!! It is awesome what we are seeing out here
Sun, 08:36:44 p.m.	Chop gave it all at the finish line. He is ok and finished with …. Well, I’m at a loss to describe it
Sun, 08:39:56 p.m.	Chop had to visit the wiZards with IV’s and salt, and came out on top
Sun, 08:42:51 p.m.	Joe Brady is coming in…. With understated courage
Sun, 08:43:35 p.m.	Joe, our hats are off to you. Folks, give him a big cheer
Sun, 08:44:56 p.m.	Chop just wants to see his kids
Sun, 08:56:09 p.m.	Bill is coming in! He hit it hard and really pushed, but the last bit was rough. Yet he refocused and brought it home
Sun, 08:56:51 p.m.	Ahn and moore are on his tail! They might finish together!!!!
Sun, 08:57:58 p.m.	Trifecta! Steve and john ran it together, and looked so strong at the end
Sun, 08:59:32 p.m.	Bill, it wasn’t the race you wanted, but it was a thrill to see you push it. Kudos

Sun, 09:04:37 p.m.	Even batman is inspired
Sun, 09:06:01 p.m.	Here comes the rain! Well, sprinkles really
Sun, 09:06:30 p.m.	Ok.. Rain it is
Sun, 09:21:55 p.m.	This is awesome!!! In the rain comes Anne! With one focus… A lady with a mission. Bring it home Anne!
Sun, 09:25:06 p.m.	The rain is letting up
Sun, 09:27:54 p.m.	We hear that dave is working the miles off, with buckets of courage
Sun, 09:29:26 p.m.	The crazies are out!!!
Sun, 09:39:42 p.m.	The cheese heads are spotted! Now I feel like I’ve been in the cheese state!
Sun, 09:41:38 p.m.	3 to go! They’re coming home
Sun, 09:46:52 p.m.	It is getting quieter on the streets, except for the finish line, which we can here blocks away
Sun, 09:47:24 p.m.	Stop light are blinking
Sun, 09:53:17 p.m.	These people are in such amazing shape, but it has been a mental game for hrs now.

Sun, 10:31:05 p.m.	Parker is coming in! He kept asking where he was going to meet his iron kid; nothing else mattered. The crowd is going to roar him across
Sun, 10:34:19 p.m.	The crowd at the finish line is loud!
Sun, 10:56:33 p.m.	Larry is here! He was running with his son and just looking so solid. Larry, happy 60th!
Sun, 10:57:08 p.m.	So solid, and going at a good smooth clip to boot

Sun, 11:17:54 p.m.	And there it is! DAVE finished
Sun, 11:18:48 p.m.	And what a finish it was! He couldn’t have smiled any bigger. PARTY
Sun, 11:57:22 p.m.	and then my batteries died after that last msg
Sun, 11:57:34 p.m.	Seeing dave cross was the icing.
Sun, 11:58:19 p.m.	The athletes are bed; we are cleaning up hq…and tomorrow the stories start
Sun, 11:58:37 p.m.	they’re yelling in the last of the athletes as there are less than 2 minutes until they close the course!

Mon, 12:00:08 a.m.	and there they go! The red flashing lights bring up a group of athletes…and they are going nuts crossing the finishing line
Mon, 12:00:53 a.m.	there it is!!! The end of Ironman Wisconsin 2008. 12 athletes with Type1. Hats off guys and gal.
Mon, 12:01:00 a.m.	night

Mon, 03:03:45 p.m.	Triabetes thanks everyone for twittering on race day! We’re glad you enjoyed the excitement and thank Sharendipity for headquarter use!

Everything Happens for a Reason

2008-09-08T19:43:00.000-07:00

So Jesse has a middle-school "girlfriend" named Madeline. 3 days ago she asked what the symptoms were for type 1 diabetes. She just called. She's in the hospital with a blood sugar of 516. She has type 1. Jesse just talked to her to tell her it sucks....she'll be fine....you get used to the shots...I'll help you at school....

Everything happens for a reason but right now, it doesn't feel very good. Yet, I know she is in the best hands......

Watch us

2008-09-08T16:05:00.001-07:00

http://www.wkowtv.com/global/story.asp?s=8967420

Triabetes is the story for Ironman Wisconsin 08

2008-09-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note before I take a nap. Ironman came and went. Go see the results if you like at www.ironmanwisconsin.com. Thanks so much to all of you for the support, the cheers, and the love. I will post a ton of pics, I promise. 11 of 12 crossed the finish line, all twelve are Ironmen to me. If you have facebook, please go to the "Triabetes 2008" page to see photos that have already been uploaded.

It was a very long and inspiring day. I saw that a million people checked my blog yesterday - sorry - i was out the course all day!

More to come...

Twitters, tweets and twhirls are the name of the game

2008-09-06T19:40:00.001-07:00

Ok, kids. It's here. Ironman Eve. Yet no champagne? Hm...

Do you want to follow the athletes via computer tomorrow - check out:
http://search.twitter.com/search?q=triabetes

You can watch messages from people out on the course all day! They will be emailing any time they see a Triabetes Athlete on the course! You can join us, wanna know how???

If you are on the course follow these instructions:

Send a text message to phone # 40404
enter message "@triabetes hi michelle"
you will get a message back asking you to confirm by sending your name back.

Any time you see an athlete on the course, do the following:
Send a message to 40404
"@triabetes saw Dave Shack on Midtown"

Whomever you see, let us know! We will follow it and let our videographers know! We need you to make the documentary work. It's late...going to bed. questions? Give us a shout on the comment screen - I'll be checking throughout the day!

I should be in bed...but...

2008-09-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. I just knew it's THE weekend and you might be reading this. It's my Triabetes obligation to make sure you are up to date right? :)

So Thursday many new faces arrived. Matt and I attended the medical meeting for the volunteers put on my Ironman. Matt and I asked questions and made sure the volunteers were aware of the # of people with diabetes there would be on the course. Many of the athletes were worried about the swim. You see, try to envision them putting on their wetsuits inside the building. They walk down the large parking ramp called the "Helix". They put away their dry clothes. They get in line to get in the water with 2500 of their closet seal-bodied friends. Barked at in fact to get in the damn water. They tread for 20 minutes. The gun goes off. They finish the swim anywhere between 1:15-2:20 hours. They get out. Their wetsuit is peeled. They have to run back up the "helix" and get to their stuff.

Imagine you have diabetes. No insulin. No glucose meters. No fast acting sugar. Would you panic that you would be without for up to 3 hours minimum? The good news is we convinced IM to let me man a table right as they get in and out of the water for all of their needs - how COOL is that??? Three cheers for North American Sports!!

Lots of chaos, signing up, chip timing, and I can't believe they gave me a pink swim cap - seriously...really? ME? Sexist....grumble grumble.

But all of the athletes are here. As we all got in to practice the swim this morning I begged Ray to take footage of me with all of the newly buff triabetes athletes with their wetsuits half off - DAMN!! They are RIPPED!!!

Of course everyone did get tired of me oggling the 2000 male triathletes...wow...now there is a place to check out guys! WOOHOO!

My house is full of Ahns....and Stewarts...and I'm staying at the home of the Gorsuch family. 2 bedrooms for me, a bath, and a fridge full of beer. Tearin' up. :)

Tomorrow is the welcome reception - gettin' close....... do you smell it? Ironman finishes to come...

They're Here! They're Here!

2008-09-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

Finally! I'm surrounded by real triabetes athletes - not just talking on the phone, instant messages, text messages or via email! Last night Bill Carlson, Peter Nerothin and Steve Chop arrived. Bill and I went for a bike ride with friends Mike Runnels and Sheryl (working pancreas), Stacy Cook, Miles Gerson (nonfunctioning) for a quick spin. Then came chinese food, a few beers and good times!

Back to my house with Bill and Steve. I woke up this morning to Bill suiting up for a run in a very cold rain. Not me, I waited for Chop to get us some coffee!

The gang spent the day down in the Ironman Village frolicking. I wish I could have joined them, but had a great day working at brava (for the record, brava is not Brava, it is brava, yes I know punctuation and capitalization, please don't point it out - it really IS brava..). Anyhow....

Tonight Matt Corcoran, our team doc, and I are meeting with the race director and medical director for IM. Pretty exciting. I am hoping they will allow me to have an area at the swim start where I will babysit the meters, the pumps, the cgms, emergency food, and give it up when they get out of the water. Ironman is very scary - but imagine not having your insulin or sugar sources for 3 hours! We are working to make that better.

Follow along, I'll update daily! It's here! It's really here!!!!

I Spy....Triabetes folks at the Governor's place

2008-09-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

On August 21st, members of the Triabetes group had the honor of enjoying dinner at the Governor's mansion in Madison, WI. From left to right are Denise, Triabetes member Aaron Perry, Governor Jim Doyle, Andiamo Productions award winning team of Ray Ibsen, Nella Citino, with daughter, Elise, in front. Pioneer of stem cells (really!) Dr. Jamie Thomsen, Me with son Jesse in the triabetes tee, Triabetes athlete Joe Brady with wife, Cindy, and of course First Lady, Jessica Doyle.

It was a small group and lots of time to chat up the staff about the documentary and the amazing athletes. We hope to get invited back after the event and to hopefully show him the documentary!

The grass is greener on this side of the fence

2008-08-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

For 18 months the Triabetes Project has been in my life. Next week Wednesday athletes start to arrive in Madison. I'm having a little Triabetes sleepover on Wednesday with Steve Chop and Bill Carlson at my house - how fun is that? The rest arrive on Thursday, staying with host families like The Gorsuch family, the Sollingers, etc. I can't thank them enough for them opening up their homes.

Dr Matt Corcoran and I are attending a medical meeting with Ironman medical advisors to make sure our team is safe on the course. Friday turns into crazyland as we swim, film, register, film, eat, film, bike, film, run, film, get headquarters ready with supplies, computers, twitter, you name it. Oh, and film. Mandatory meetings, film. The huge welcome reception on Saturday at Grey's Tied House from 3-5 (you are invited, blog reader!), a quiet dinner for just the athletes, Matt, film crew, and I...up at 4:00 am for RACE DAY! WOOHOO.

Ok, here's the point of my picket fence picture. I anticipate some of you will be disappointed with my decision to not race on Sunday. I've tortured myself with a vibe I have had for over two months - the vibe that I serve this team better as a logistics person for the week. As much as I cherish being called the lucky #13 team member - the Triabetic Wannabe - I more so cherish the idea of making sure the film crew can find the athletes on the course, etc. I only have one shot at this documentary. It will be a great honor to watch each of them cross the finish line and I look forward to that. Not to mention I started my fabulous new job as Marketing Director for brava magazine last week!

To those of you who have supported me through my training etc this year... no worries, I don't think I've done my last Ironman. I'm trying to convince Anne and the rest of the team to do Ironman in France in 2010. I'm not kidding... a girl has to have goals.

So support me, by supporting the team. More info to come soon on how you can help on the course! Now, off to the Taste of Madison with the kids....

Need I say more?

2008-08-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

11 Days.

A Reflection from my IM 06

2008-08-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

As everyone prepares for the race in just 14 days, I'm sure lots of thoughts are going through their heads. I saved this email I had sent to everyone the day after my race in 2006. It inspires me to reread it, so I share it with all of you. I hope you read the joy in it...and the love.

"it was fun...so I did it" :)!

Ok, I'm now rested, and have my glass of wine in hand (I knew you'd appreciate that Norm, and no, I didn't stop for beer along the course...sheesh...even I have to know some limits...:) )

I'm attempting to answer all of your questions below...(gosh you had SOOO many questions!)

The stats:

Pre-race:

Night before Preparation: checked transition bags feverishly. Sat around firepit with neighbors. Drank 1 beer, then gatorade and water. Went to bed. Slept like a rock. Amazing.

Person who put up with the most questions about prep: Mark Timmerman (thank you for patience...)

The swim:

Number of times I wanted to vomit: Zero! Woohoo! (I was calm, crazily...) I was there, I was ready, and knew full well "it is what it is".

Number of friends I saw at the start: 6 - a welcome, welcome sight. Hugs in wetsuits ROCK!

Size of waves: Holy Mother of God. (but, that was good, it kept my face planted in the water because if you looked up, you got a face full of stinky water that tasted like boat fuel..trust me...)

Best "under the wetsuit apparel": David Willborn ran up the helix wearing tie-dyed underwear he made himself, including an iron-on IM patch.

Feeling of running up the helix on my way to transition: Are you kidding??? I screamed my fool head off when I saw my people hanging out and cheering! Superstars.

The Bike:

Weather: Ahhh...non-stop rain and cold. Relentless and strong headwinds.

Amount of time my feet were dry: .1 minute

Number of spectators I talked to: How many were out there? Count 90%, it made me CRAZY not to talk.

# of Farmer-Blows: 1209

# of farmer-blows that ended up on my coat: 8

# of farmer-blows that I didn't care anymore where it landed: 6

Why biking was fun: I sucked so bad on my swim time, that NO ONE passed me on the bike course (except the pros on their second loop). I felt like a rockstar passing for hours.

Most impressive bike stat: Ha! Talked for 30 miles straight with my new buddy, John. Yep, you got it baby, you CAN'T SHUT ME UP! That's right!

# of boys signing up to do the Ride to Cure Diabetes that I met during my Ironman: TWO! (I'm always working....)

Biggest Grin on the bike: seeing that I had more fans supporting me than ANYONE on the course...and hearing other bikers complain about it! (true!!!)

Mantras taped to bike: U Rock, This is great I feel good, No negative monkeys, return with honor, slow is steady steady is fast, I did it, I own it, Smile.

Best coaching: I've never had so much coaching in my LIFE!! Bike coaches Dan & Jay, Swim coach Mark, and Tri Coach Cindi....1 on the course, 2 cheering me on and 1 sending feverish emails right up until the event all the way from Kansas City...way cool.

Most motivating moment: Hans Solinger in full bike gear waiting for me to top a hill so he could bike alongside me and give me pointers and tell me to focus and keep pedaling. :)

Mile I realized I wasn't enjoying my bike ride: Mile 80

Mile I lost sensation in both hands and couldn't shift: Mile 80

How many times I decided I didn't want to complete the race: 1

Number of times I cried during the event: 1, biking up the helix and thinking I couldn't physically get off my bike or tie my shoes because I was chilled to the bone.

Minutes held for hypothermia issues: 40 (that SUCKED)

Color of lips at that time: purple

Moment I remembered Bobby Heyer's mantra taped to my bike that said not to let negative monkeys in my head: that very second (thank you Bobby!!!)

Coolest volunteer in the world who dressed me (hands still numb) and got me running: Rebecca

The Run:

Coolest friend that surprised me: Chris Burque jumping in step with me and running alongside for my first mile. Thank you!! (IM 08, Burque??)

Moment I realized I was going to finish the race: Mile 2, when I saw someone I knew coming the other direction with a look of incredible pride and joy (and surprise maybe?), arms up, running towards one another and me screaming how great I was feeling and almost bowled him right over in my excitment when I wrapped my arms AND legs around him for God's sake...I giggled for miles about what a dork I was doing that...especially since I was wearing bright yellow AND a garbage bag (Yeah...this girl looked HOT...ha ha ha)

Moment I met my run buddy, Jeremy: mile 3 (finished the race with him)

Cool stat about Jeremy: he is only 27 and I was keeping pace

Why that stat isn't cool: Damn it, he was injured

Biggest grin on the run: Seeing Sandy, Mike R, Mike K, Stacy and Rob running towards me when I was about to finish...they were screaming and crying with excitement.

Number of blisters: zero

Number of toenails lost: 1 (yeah, gross)

The Finish Line:

Best moment - grabbing my kids to run with me towards the jumbotron baby!

Second best moment: realizing just how many friends/family showed up to see me finish!

The fans:

Who had the most fans cheering them on in the rain: ME!!!!!!!!!! I'm not kidding, I swear it's true. I'm not naming all of you because I don't want to forget someone!!! You know who you are!!!! Thank you!!

Best Wingman: Stacy Cook. I owe her my life. Poor woman had to undress me to get in the shower, feed me AND sleep with me LOL Incredible vibes.

Friend who pulled me through that was an IM participant: David Willborn - he was my hot date for everything. As I showed up alone to get body-marked, I never thought I would see someone I knew....there stood David...grinning...we got ready together and walked the helix together to the swim start...you're the best, baby!

Post Ironman:

Will I get an IM tattoo? No. I contemplated the IM logo on my back, with the "dot" of the "I" using the single freckle I have on my back...but I decided I kinda dig my one freckle, so I'm keeping it as is, thanks. No tattoo.

Will I do another Ironman? I did NOT sign up for 07. No regrets. I have 3 friends who want to do 08....and if they do...you know who you are....I'll be there with you....actually there is a 4th I want to join me in 08...I'll keep you posted...he doesn't know I'm slating him to do it with me..but he is... ;)

Most inspiring: the type 1 athletes I knew on the course had problems with their meters all day...and endured/achieved. Inspired, I am.

How do I top it?: No clue. I'm applying for Survivor. How about that?

My best advice to future Ironmen: I was right. Keep it fun. Smile and enjoy.

What I learned: it was a greater accomplishment to cross the finish line a little later bringing a friend along the way who needed the support, than to cross earlier, alone. I will reflect on that for a lifetime.

Your well wishes, by the way, have been a great joy to read today. For all of you who keep telling me I'm a coach..no I'm not...i'm just a girl who loves to watch other people feel inspired and reach their own goals. I know how important it is to have people tell you "you can do it." That is something I have learned over the last few years. To those of you who couldn't make it, I know you were there with me in spirit. For those who made it down and were surprised at how cool the finish line scene is...welcome...enjoy it...it's the experience of a lifetime...and I get to proudly say I did it, for the rest of my life. I'm glad I was pushed to it. Now....I'm going to bed. I want to stay up but my body says...enough girl.

Oh...last stat-

How many people are sick of hearing about Ironman?: How many people are on this email? (grinning)

:)Michelle

"How long should you keep trying? Until." ~ Jim Rohn

What Inspires You to Tri?

2008-08-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

I was torn when I first started blogging about this couple. Follow along, kids, and you'll see why. You see, a couple years ago I was running a 10K relatively unknown race called "Run For the Rivers" in Verona, Wisconsin. I came across the finish line and was happily munching on bagels and coffee when I hear, "Michelle Page? Is that you?" I look at two people blankly. Turns out, I went to high school with Mike and Jenny Wimmer and there they stood before me. They didn't look all that different from high school, actually. I was really surprised they recognized me since I always thought of myself in high school as a little chubby, out of shape, etc, and here I was in geek-gear. They recognized me from the class reunion website and had heard I did Ironman.

We get to chatting and I remembered that their niece, Sarah, was diagnosed with Diabetes years before. I knew this because her dad, Paul, had called me to tell me that shortly after his 37th birthday, he too, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was in awe of this is some strange, fixated "mom-of-a-diabetic" way. Jealous isn't the right word...it was more about being curious. I asked him a million questions about what it was like to have it yourself after treating it for years in your child. Is it as hard as they say? Do you look at your daughter differently? Paul said, "You know, it makes it easier to deal with her diabetes because now I really get it. But she said, 'daddy, you got your birthday wish.'...and I said, 'No, honey, my wish was to have diabetes instead of you, and take it away, not to have it TOO.' "

Onward with my story. I kept in contact with Jenny and Mike as they continued on this new fitness path they had found - still do. She comments on my blog, I read hers. Awhile back I almost fell straight off my chair reading her blog. You see, she had before pictures, as in "before exercise" pictures. I was absolutely astounded...and moved...even now I get really choked up about the accomplishments they have achieved. Look at these rockstars - They just did the Pigman 70.3 in Iowa!

So I share their "before" picture because I'm so proud of them and how far they came to reach their goals - and now they kick my ass. Take a moment to read their blog, and be inspired. They've earned it.

http://laurajwimmer.blogspot.com/

Remember when boys used to eat your bonnie bell lip smacker?

2008-08-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

Today I swam, then biked the Ironman course, then laced up the running shoes to throw it all toether and feel like a triathlete. My friend, Kate, and I went out and enjoyed a beautiful day. It was really fun to see all of the other Ironman athletes testing out the bike course whether they were biking it or driving it. Lots of license plates from Minnesota and Illinois.

When we got to about mile 25 we ran into my Ironman friend from 2006 - Jeremy Scherbert. In 06, Jeremy and I both had hypothermia and met at mile 2 of the run course. We finished the race together that year. At about mile 30 I realized, "Huh. My lips are chapped." No chapstick. None. By the time I was running I was licking my lips and dreaming of 1979, wearing my tasty Bonnie Bell Jumbo Lip Smacker around my neck, popping the cap and lathering it on my lips. Then I thought of my friend Tom L, who once told me about how he used to ask girls if he could borrow their lip smacker...and he then would bite off the top of it, eating it and leaving the girls screaming and mad. When he told me that story, I quietly enlisted him in the Bonnie Bell Fan Club - he anonymously received a club membership and free lip smacker for a year.

Yes, these are the thoughts that come to mind as I am trying NOT to think about my chapped lips as I finish up my run.

Today's lesson? Bring chapstick if you are racing Ironman. And why didn't we think to get them on board as sponsors??? :)

Triabetes IronFAN...get your tshirts while they are hot!

2008-08-14T10:06:00.001-07:00

Ironman is coming up quick and Madison is buzzing! Our fabulous graphic designer, Emily Dobson, put together the official IronFan shirt for the Triabetes project!

WANT ONE???!!!

We will be handing out tshirts the day before Ironman (more info to come) to anyone who is planning on cheering the crew on out on the course! We want to be able to see you. Shirts will go fast of course, so here's an opportunity to RESERVE QUANTITY AND SIZE TODAY!

If you are willing to pre-order, I will set aside your tshirts! No waiting! No hassle! And you are supporting a GREAT cause!

All it takes is a $10 donation (tax deductible) for each shirt. You can email me your request at curejesse@gmail.com OR click on the "FIRST GIVING" button on the left of this blog with your donation. It's that simple!

You've been with us this far.....now go the full 140.6 miles with us, baby. Get one, and pass on the information to anyone who might be out on the course on 9/7/08. Thanks for all your support - together, we educate the world that people with diabetes can do...ANYTHING.

This steezin' fool is on his way to New Zealand

2008-08-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

I know this post isn't really about Triabetes. But, this post is about my very good friend, Sean Busby. Sean is a professional snowboarder diagnosed just a few years ago with type 1 diabetes. I interviewed Sean when he was first diagnosed. Between myself, Miles Gerson, and Sean, we created a snowboard camp in Wisconsin for kids with "d". We had so much fun doing it, Sean's been hard at work creating more camps around the country.

I just hung up the phone after Sean called me (we were discussing Facebook issues as usual LOL) to say he leaves in the morning to hang out with "d" kids over in New Zealand. Pretty cool! He'll be there awhile.... when he returns, he is joining an expedition to snowboard Antarctica. Yes, he is quite crazy. I posted about him today because I stumbled on this picture of Sean. He usually hides this part of himself because he doesn't want kids to see it. But it really struck me. I hope someday he can look at this tattoo and say, "remember when I had diabetes?"

Follow Sean's adventures: www.ridingoninsulin.com and www.seanbusby.com

An Honest Blog - should I still do IM?

2008-08-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, usually I try to post something funny.... but I've had a few days of pondering. Maybe I can chalk it up to some scared "29 days to IM" thoughts, but maybe not. Here's the deal - listen and weigh in, will ya?

So here is the deal. I've worked what, 18 months on this? Well now it comes down to a lot of the local efforts. I've been busy trying to get host families lined up to house the 12 athletes and their families AND their friends....establishing a "Triabetes Headquarters" at the finish line (thank you SHARENDIPITY.COM you are rockstars!!!)....putting together a week long schedule, a welcome reception, dealing with NA Sports (who are FABULOUS) about logistics for safety issues on the course, trying to figure out where the best filming locations are...what is the story really going to be....who's going to market it....distribution...showing at local film festivals....

and on top of all that...I'm trying to train...and be a single mom to three great kids....and looking for a great new job (which I think I found...more to come on that).... I'm tired. And I think this: It is difficult to arrange the schedule and life of one ironman athlete during IM. How the HECK am I going to manage 13? I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I talked to Joe Brady today. Told him I was feeling a little like I should drop out of racing. I mean, someone has to make sure it runs smooth from a business standpoint. It should be me. It's my dream, my goal. Of course he answered that I just need to prioritize and basically told me to stop being a whiny baby (in his own way, but I know what he was thinking!).

Do I race? I biked 30 miles today, 22.5 HARD miles on Wednesday in the pouring rain on the hills of Mt. Vernon with an 20 mph pace...and I'm getting up super early to bike 60 miles tomorrow morning....

Should I do it? Am I being selfish? Ugh...... help?

Meet Triabetes Triathlete - Joe Brady

2008-08-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFhEtDjLma0

Ok, this video rocks out. Today Nella put together a few clips to share with the world. I'm choosing this one first to share. Meet Joe Brady. Joe was my bike coach at JDRF for a couple of years. (Actually, in the photo to the right, we are at a checkpoint in Whitefish, MT. I had just climbed on board the Kansas City Smack Train and he was about to be the first finisher of the day for the JDRF century ride.) I convinced him to do the Triabetes project - now he tries to convince me to meet him to swim at 6:00 am - yuck! I spent the day over at Ray and Nella's (a.k.a Andiamo Productions). I meant to go over there just to get the video, but the kids hung out and they invited us for a delicious dinner. It was quite rewarding to watch the process of what they do to transfer the data, etc. Ray had just returned from San Francisco, filming Anne, John, Bill, et al as they swam in front of Alcatraz, ran the Golden Gate Bridge - SO jealous! I also think a very cute moment at their house was when my son, Jesse, picked up one of the Emmy Awards that sit above their tv like forgotten bowling trophies and said, "Um, is this REALLY what I think it is???" I said, "Yes. They have 13 of them." Pretty cool moment....

Ok, back to Joe. Take a look. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFhEtDjLma0

BE SURE TO WATCH IT IN 'HIGH QUALITY'. Click the button directly under the video!

Enjoy!

Meet my new training buddy!

2008-08-03T18:09:00.000-07:00

Some people like to go running with their friends, some like to run alone. I tend to run alone more because I'm embarrassed about how slow I am, but the more I run, the more I appreciate just quietly getting into my own head.

I decided to run through the arboretum today which is a really nice 7 mile loop around Lake Wingra. It's just a bit of a tradition for many athletes to run the "arb". As I am stretching outside my car, parked close to the Nakoma Country Club, I realize the mosquitos are swarming. Ugh.

I start my run and feel pretty good. After about 3 miles, I walk so I can wipe sweat that is dripping in my eyes. Instantly, my buddies are back, biting me.

So instead of a rabbit, it appears that mosquitos become my new running buddies. Stop, and you are a goner. What was that crazy movie? Logan's Run or something?

Two loops of the arb today, 14 miles and man, am I crabby ... and goodnight!

Hey! How can I support Triabetes? Here's how!

2008-08-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

So, if you want to have an interesting afternoon searching the web, I highly suggest googling things like "kids saying please" or "giving". I was looking for just the right image to put with my asking you, your friends and complete strangers for money. You know what came up when I searched for a cute little kid face saying please? I got this photo of kid flippin' the bird. Huh. My mom must have taught me wrong?

Anyhow. I've set up this really cool thing called "First Giving". Any money raised by clicking on the button to the left will go directly to funding the Triabetes project. I mean, look how COOL Dave Shack looks with these iron-fans last year during sign up!

But, Michelle, isn't the project already funded? Well, yes, thanks for asking. We have had HUGE support from sponsors who gave us huge amounts of money (ahem, Lifescan) and those who gave us really cool stuff like Specialized helmets, shoes, and optics, training from Diabetes Training Camp, spibelts, vitalyte, purefit bars, money to spend at the tri-sports store - just to name a few. But documentaries are expensive!

What we would like to do is make sure everyone who comes out on race day to support the team gets a free tshirt to wear - what's the point? A free tshirt? Well, no, actually. The point is, we want everyone out there racing to feel at home. We want them to feel the diabetic love. We want the film crew to be able to "spot" our fans for the documentary. We want our tshirts to show up all over the official Ironman video too of course!

Steve Ahn has been working with a supportive fan in the Boone, NC area who is trying to get us 500 tshirts! Imagine the course dotted with little Triabetes Iron-fans everywhere. Let's make it happen!

PS googling "giving" comes up with a lot of unsavory pictures of birthing....don't go there!

The Ultimate Compliment

2008-07-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

What would be the ultimate compliment? Ponder while I tell you about my day.

Today was a beautiful (but hot) afternoon to go biking with the usual JDRF suspects - Dave Dahler, Steve & Amy Eager, Steve & Kitty Verkuilen, Joe Brady, Harvey Johnson (who has become a crazy rockstar on his bike), Patti Batt, Bob Gorsuch, newcomer Julie from Saris, Sheryl, Laura Bauer, etc. A great mix.

I was rushing around because a new neighbor decided to pop over to introduce herself and welcome me to the neighborhood - turns out we have known each other from a previous life, but I digress. The point of that story is that it made me late. So I rush into a convenience store to buy necessities - water, gatorade (I could NOT find my vitalyte and was seriously bummed), blueberry crumble coffee (yes, I am a coffee snob) and then I look...what on earth is actually edible? Hmmm... I pick up...these oatmeal cookie dealios. Um, bad idea.

So, I eat it as I'm driving and realize it has this taste...you know the one... "shelf-life" taste, like it could last through a nuclear holocaust? That's the one.

Patti and I are climbing a hill called "Old Mother" (which I might have added one more noun to that phrase) and the so-called cookie gets...well.... tossed.

Hm. Interestingly enough, I feel GREAT after that.

After finishing up a great ride with friends, I go home and spend some time chatting with Anne Findlay, one of the Triabetes superstar athletes. As we are chatting away, she makes a comment about Jesse doing the Ironkidz trip - a great excursion planned by the good folks at insulindependence that pairs up a type 1 child with one of the triabetes athletes. And she says, "you could be Jesse's Triabetes athlete."

You see, she then cracked up because she remembered - I do not have type 1 diabetes. Now, John Moore has said to me on many occasions that I should be flattered that he frequently forgets that I produce insulin. In our world, that is an extremely flattering compliment in some strange way. It just is. Now I got two of the athletes forgetting...who can I get to forget next?

PS The picture of the cookie is NOT a product endorsement NOR was it delicious NOR do they give us money for this project. Um, yucky.

Feelin' the love

2008-07-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

This past week has been extremely difficult, and yet, it's been one of the best. The outpouring of support has been just nothing short of incredible. I'm amazed at the people who have called or emailed me.

Our lives are full of chapters. When one chapter closes, another opens. Triabetes has been one of the most rewarding projects I've ever been part of. Every time an athlete calls me or emails me to tell me how it has changed their lives...I can't tell you what that does to me.

Nella told me that we should be able to have the documentary out there and ready to go in December. December! It's going to change lives, more so than the 12 athletes, the executive producer (me), the emmy-winning filmmakers (Nella/Ray), the amazing team at Diabetes Training Camp (Matt), the folks at Insulindependence (Nate), and those who have touched us through sponsorship like Charles.... it has expanded my diabetes world in an incredible way.

Now I get to focus 100% of my diabetes energy on watching Triabetes soar.

A humble thank you to all of you who got my back.... :) I look forward to seeing many of you at the Capital Brewery on Friday for the celebration party! (It cannot possibly be my 39th birthday....so let's not call it a birthday party!!!! )

So...what should I call my FOURTH ring - the Ace Ring?

2008-07-14T12:02:00.001-07:00

King ring. Third ring. The "Granny Gear". So what if I have one???? You smarty pants triathletes can have your double and pour it on when you hit the hill, but I like my triple.

Here I am, cleaning Johnny C for a Sunday ride over at Runnels. I got the text, "coffee and muffins at 9?" Well, duh - of course! So I arrive and there is Mike cleaning up his pretty new Trek Madone 5.2. SWEET. For those of you who don't know it, the open garage behind me is the garage of Jon and Michelle Ericksen of Crono Metro and Planet Bike life. You can interpret that as "Jon is in his garage while we are outside and he is re-taping Michelle's Cannondale...his 4 bikes are sitting outside like the world's most costly garage sale....

Honestly, I think it was true bliss...bike heaven...geekdom. Smell the wd40...smell the Simple Green...the chain grease.....the...the ... oh, you get the idea!

So the rain finally goes away after we go to Pasqual's for a mexican brunch for the Gods. Let there be light, young riders, and bike to Riley....

Ok, I'm getting to the "fourth ring" part, settle down, sheesh!

So, as we get to the Riley Tavern, we buy a pitcher of beer, throw a stick or two to King, the official dog of the Riley, and it dawns on me..... I have a secret 4th ring..

That's right you crazy Ironman training people! I bike all the TIME from the Riley...or the Union with a beer in my tummy. This of course is an unfair advantage for me, because I'm used to biking with beer, or pancakes, or a big mexican brunch in my belly....I've got it MADE. I'm going to SMOKE those serious athletes who have removed the poison from their bodies because they can't IMPROVE.

Thus, a fourth chain ring. Admit it. You're jealous.

Would you like one breath, or two...with your swim?

2008-07-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

Sunday mornings are turning into my "swim with fellow Triabetes athlete, Joe Brady" day. Not that I mind, it's exactly what I need both in pushing me to pretend to be a triathlete AND to feel the camaraderie of the team. Joe was trying out his second wetsuit of the season, a two piece deal he saw Larry Smith wearing while at Diabetes Training Camp in Chicago. We had a good chuckle as we figured out which one was better and he claimed the new one to be more buoyant as we sat in the middle of the lake with his feet out.

Open water swimming has been a bit tricky in these parts as flooding has made some less-than-idea lakes even less-ideal. Lake Ripley in Cambridge had more recent flooding but the quality was do-able (not tasty, but do-able). We swam just inside the buoys to avoid the boats, me with my tingling left arm (what the hell is causing that?) while I concentrated on relaxing my legs, as I am pretty prone to leg cramps because I'm so tense in the water.

Joe tells me that during his open water swim classes, Dave is teaching him to breathe on every stroke - long, deep strokes, each time. I'm going to try this next time I'm out, but I cautioned Joe that he needs to learn several methods and here is my "I've been-there-done-that" advice from Ironman 06. Wind, rain, and waves bigger than your head smacking you in your face gives you the option of what breathing pattern you choose. If you are an even side breather, you're screwed if you are used to breathing left...and can only breathe right. My advice is to practice breathing in 3s, 4s, 5s and 7s. It also gives me something to think about while swimming.

It's been fun training with another triabetic athlete. If you are ever in the neighborhood and would like to join us, give me a shout!

Now, whether or not you take my swimming advice, you are at your own risk considering my excellent skills didn't stop me from swimming smack into a buoy. Nice sighting on my part, eh?

So, I'm sitting on this blanket...

2008-07-09T13:13:00.000-07:00

Concerts on the Square is a wonderful place to be on a warm summer night. Hundreds of people on blankets, picnicking and enjoying the Madison Chamber Orchestra, seeing people you know, (watching your seven year old find live ants to put on the spiderweb of the beautiful lion statue at the capitol...to see them devoured). You get the idea.

I'm with old Madison friends, and a few new ones. I met Sheryl on a WNBR. That's "Wednesday Night Bike Rides" to us locals. She met us out and brought some of her friends to mingle with us. Turns out, one of her friends went to junior high and high school with me in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Graduated the same year, in fact!

So it turns out a few others from the Eau Claire North Huskies reside in the area.

What's my point? I don't know. I think my point is that today I got an email from another alum, Eric, who I haven't talked to in may, ah, 23 years? And he said, "I just saw your Triabetes video, it's great what you are doing!"

So my point is that Triabetes is everywhere, and I absolutely love that. New fans! hooray!

PS I have no idea who this is in this photo below taken in 1980 but dude, I had to post it.

How do we get our documentary "out there"?

2008-07-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

Most of my blogs are about training. Or maybe you think most of my blogs are pretty random. :)

We have had some great sponsors supporting our work over the last year. A list of them is available at Triabetes.org. But what does it take to get an award winning film crew to not only travel the country to shoot the film, but to actually get it chopped out, spit out, and looking perfect? How do we get it to Sundance Film Festival?

Cash. And lots of it.

But more so, it takes good hearted people like you. You see, much of what we do is out of the goodness of people. We rely on people every day to donate their time, talents and money to spread this message. Not only do we need to secure the money, we open our doors to anyone willing to help us with PR as we near the finish of this project. We look to people willing to promote it, to interview the athletes, to get them the gear they need to race, etc.

I was out for a run yesterday after a nice bike ride with my friend, Stacy Cook (who bought herself a sweet little Trek Madone 5.2 today for only $1,000!) and I was thinking, "Man, how COOL would it be to enter this documentary into film festivals and how do I make that happen?"

That's where you come in. The last few months we are working hard on our training. But we have to be thinking ahead to the future of Triabetes. I know you want to see it in completion just as much as we do. I lean to you - if you know of anyone wanting to get involved in the project with time, talent or of course, deep pockets, you know how to find me.

Now I have to go mow my lawn. I think it has gone to seed.

The Annual Belleville Pancake Ride

2008-06-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning feeling like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning, or the morning you are going to drive to Six Flaggs... No, today would be different. Indeed. A yearly JDRF ride group tradition for the Western Wisconsin Chapter team has been the 40 mile bike ride to Belleville and back. So what's so special about the Belleville bike ride?

Oh yeah..... can you smell 'em? The experienced pancake riders lead the newbies to Belleville on a gentle rolling hills ride. We arrive at Beleoni's Cafe, a hot spot for Saturday morning cyclists who enjoy a hot breakfast. I had the Troll Special along with Steve Eager, Joy and Zach Carr. The group includes Triabetes athlete (and my bike coach), Joe Brady, Whitefish alum Kitty Verkuilen along with her "now on the road to Death Valley" husband Steve, Harv and Cindy Johnson, my good friend, Rabbit aong with his new friend Sheryl who just moved here and is new to the group, Brian Cholewa and girlfriend, Jen Williams, and of course my partner in "lets turn around and check that biker out", Patti Batt. We pull in and enjoy talk of our past JDRF rides to Montana, California, North Carolina, and the newbies listen intently as we talk about Jubilee Pass, Glacier National Park, bears, coyotes and well, taverns. :) Of course!

We finish up and head out to spin that beautiful lactic acid out of the legs. I usually get a kick out of that, but our lactic-fun is cut short when Zach is found injured after failing to clip out.

Big macho, me, I immediately go up and congratulate him on his new road rash. Then I look at it and see this is no run-of-the mill badge of honor. It's a pretty deep wound that cut in when he fell right on his king ring. No picture needed to describe that, or the fact that this wusspants almost threw up at the sight. We lucked out and happened to be in the yard of a very nice man and his daughter, who cleaned him up and drove him back to town for medical attention, while the rest of us biked back dealing with a few flat tires and refreshments.

Sigh...another Pancake Ride is been and gone.... until June 2009....

2 months to Ironman...do the math....

2008-06-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

So you all know by now that I worship the ground that Lifescan walks on. Our biggest sponsor, the nicest people, the most supportive top reps as well as local reps.... they make the best meter around with the ultra-mini and my son still thinks the pink meter is "the new black." He's not afraid of his masculinity.

So it's time to gear up for the big race, 2 months and 9 days away....I have twelve diabetic athletes that are overexerting and rockin' the house. So what does this mean.

LOTS OF TESTING AND TESTING AND TESTING.

Now, you may ask, "Michelle, I thought many of the athletes are on an insulin pump therapy with a continuous glucose monitor (CGM)?" Right you are, and thanks for paying attention! But you see, the meter is still the tried and true method to really put it to the test, so the triabetes athletes mount these ultra-minis right to their bikes!!! They put one in each transition bag and special needs bag during the race (that makes THREE additional meters just for race day), and they test sometimes upwards of 20 times per day.

So I fire off an email to Lifescan and say, "gosh, is there any way I can get the dream amount of meters and test strips for these athletes through their season?" I got a "you betcha, girlfriend!!!" (Ok, he didn't say it exactly like that, but close!)

So do the math.

I have 12 athletes needing enough strips and meters to get them through September 7, 2008 which is in addition to what they are already ALLOWED to get from their insurance (cheapskates).

I am requesting 10,500 test strips and 31 more meters.

I have to quote a few of the athletes responses:

"do they realize that we may be checking BG's like 15 or more times a day? they are okay with this?"

"Wow. To test whenever I need to......... that is a cool feeling. I'll take 1050 and a few meters, please!"

THANK YOU LIFESCAN! Did I mention Johnson & Johnson? Did I mention One Touch Ultra-Mini?

So Facebook Asked Me....

2008-06-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

"Where would you like to see yourself in five years?"

Hmmm.

A stupid facebook "interview" that someone sent me actually turned into a massive pondering. If someone had asked me this question in the Spring of 2006, my answer would have involved different people, a different life. Since that Spring, my life has changed greatly. The "who" is much different, yet... I still find myself diving into the diabetes and sports world. I still find myself obsessively checking the http://www.ironmanlive.com/ site to see how our athlete, Anne Findlay, is doing in the Ironman today in Coeur d'Alene. I still find myself looking at the photos Bob Schrank and Alex Bowden of Team Type 1 just posted of their RAAM experience (nice head stand contest, Schrank). I still find myself doing everything I can to cure Jesse.

Wow. Where WILL I be in 5 years? Where will the documentary be? Will people still watch it? Will it be important anymore because there are 75 people signed up for Ironman Wisconsin in 2013 with diabetes and it's old news? I hope so! Will Jesse be getting up in the morning and shooting himself with a dose of smartinsulin in his junior year of high school and living a virtually diabetes-free day? Will Mike Runnels actually have won that damn lottery and given me all my promised goodness? Will I actually find that perfect guy who loves the diabetes world as much as me AND shaves his legs (at least during bike season)?

For now I guess I live my life one foot in front of the other, with moments of extreme pleasure as I watch my kids play frisbee in the backyard, or spend a weekend riding rollercoasters with my daughter, or hanging out with my old neighbors...but in my new house. And a simple pleasure of driving down Mineral Point Road and not even noticing Robin Parkway. :)

Who thought Facebook would get me to reflect?

Of course, everyone cracked up when the question was "if you had any superpower, what would you want?" and my energetic 7 year old, Joey, didn't blink before shouting out, "lightening breath." Huh. Like it was a no-brainer!

Smart Insulin - this blew me away

2008-06-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

It is very rare I get excited about something "new" I read about in diabetes research. True, I work for an incredible organization, JDRF, that funds research like no one else, but that said, we sure see a lot come across our desk each and every day and it starts to lose it's luster.

At our annual conference, on of my favorite researchers, Dr. Aaron Kowalski, actually got EXCITED talking about "Smart Insulin". Read about it at:

http://www.smartinsulin.com/index.html

I will be brief in my "mom" version of what I interpreted but basically, the patient receives one shot of insulin per day that adheres to a gel. As glucose levels increase in the body, the gel releases the insulin and in short, gives a type 1 diabetic normal blood sugar levels throughout the day. This is currently succeeding in rats, but has quite a ways to go. So while the scientists over at Smart Cells, Inc. continue to test rats (I keep envisioning rats lounging in a hot tub, drinking margaritas to see if heat affects the gel), I will keep my hopes up.

(I couldn't help myself...INDEED...you CAN google "mouse in hot tub" and behold.....it exists)

Triabetes Rules You Tube - at least in my opinion

2008-06-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

Ok! I've been DYING to see new footage of the hottest thing in diabetes in sports (I may be biased). Here you go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpIywyPvqDg

Thank you so much for continuing to support the Triabetes Project! Many of the athletes are in Chicago at this very moment at Diabetes Training camp with Matt Corcoran, M.D. (featured in this video). Please take a moment to comment on YouTube about the video so more people find us!

A break in the clouds....

2008-06-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

The weather has been nothing but rain and storms the last few days in Madison. Yesterday my kids spent most of the day watching tv in the basement with tornado sirens going off most of the afternoon. I thought, however, that it was a good sign that I was actually upset that I couldn't get my running in or my biking. I'm finally starting to feel like I'm losing the weight I had gained over the winter (mostly, I think after 35 it isn't even so much weight gain - as I never ever weigh myself - but more so the dang shift of waistlines etc that just makes you realize your age). I proudly displayed my new "bike tan" at WNBR (Wednesday Night Bike Rides) this past Wednesday, thank you very much. I saw some old JDRF Death Valley riders that I really miss. They've promised to bike DV with me in 09.

This morning I woke up to the sounds of cars crashing outside my window. I live at the bottom of a major hill and we were experiencing some serious flash flooding at the intersection. I watched more than one car try to slam on brakes when they hit this newly formed lake, hydroplaning across. Seriously, it was so bad I actually had to WAIT to go get my morning coffee! That'll teach me for running out of my own coffee! For those of you who know what I look like at 6:30 a.m. without coffee... I know you understand the issue! Ha!

So, the forecast for Madison for the next 7 days is: RAIN. Lots of it. I have found a break in the clouds and going to give it a shot. Luckily I'll be in Washington, DC all week and can escape the weather! Except.....DC has a forecast of 99 degree temps. Sigh..........................

What are the odds?

2008-06-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

Ok. I'm all about us chicks rulin' the biking world. That's why I'm trying to make my point extra special that I'm even willing to use pink to describe it. It seems to me, at least in my locality, that more and more women are out there. Out there doing triathlons, running, swimming, and what I've really noticed....biking.

Now at first I was grinning at this knowledge, I mean YEAH! WOOHOO! CHICKS RULE! I'm waving like a maniac as they come the other way. In fact, the other day I actually counted MORE women than men biking the Paoli Loop.

And then...the HORROR set in. As a single girl who enjoys what she calls "busy season"...the season in which everyone trades in their winter gear to actually come outside in splandex and show off their shaved legs (Um, I mean the guys here), I realize...OH...MY.....GOSH....

NO!

The ratio! The horror! My odds just got more difficult for the athlete dating pool.

For a girl who typically has pictures like this:

Maybe you see the trend????? :)

Anyhow, I'm willing to share the road with these strong women. After all....

I biked the IM course with all 12 today...

2008-06-01T21:30:00.000-07:00

...well.... not really. But in my head today I biked with Guiness, Ninja, Shackster, Steve 3.0, Steve C, Joe, Aaron, Anne, Brian, Peter, Crazy Bill, and Larry.... they were all there... in my mind.

I woke up to an amazing Wisconsin morning. You know what it said to me? "Absolutely fabulous bike tan lines are waiting for you, Michelle Alswager, get dressed! Get dressed! Wear that t-back and get the tan of your life!" No really! That's what I heard.

6 cups of coffee, a few emails, a little work, feed the cats...and I'm off to ride 30 miles. Except...except..... I decide to meander over to the Verona quarry and dip the toe. Would it be warm enough for a swim? Indeed! It is! I'm so excited by this that I say HELL WITH IT GIRL....bike the IM. And so I did.

I'm about 42 miles into my biking and I stand on Garfoot, my fav of the course, the sun beating on me, the wind perfect, cyclists coming the other way, and all I think is, "I have to take a pic and send it to the Triabetes gang!!!!" And I did.

I get a text from Anne telling me that she just ran 18 miles and thanked me for sharing my experience with her! She's a CRAZY woman, but then again, isn't that what inspired me to get on my bike and do a full 75 miles today?

I'll admit...Old Sauk Pass HURT. It did. And then came b!tch hill, but I just smiled. Midtown, bring it on, right???! Home stretch....

Here's what went through my head today. I am part of a team. But my teammates don't live here. And yet, they are with me when I'm training. All of them. I've trained for many things....the Ride to Cure Diabetes in various locations, other IM... and this is SO different.

For the first time in my "training" life... I am ok with biking alone. Do you know why? THESE guys are with me the whole ride.... they inspire me to keep moving and I'm so proud to be part of them, that they allow me to be part of them.

And now..... bed! I'm running in the morning and the kids can't wait to go to the quarry tomorrow night! They know how to dial 911....

PS I have the SWEETEST back tan. Mission accomplished.

I'm ready for my wetsuit, Mr. Deville

2008-05-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

I hate "cold". Hate it. I'm the world's biggest baby about getting in the pool. TOTAL toe-dipper. To be honest, I once got to the pool, dipped the toe and actually LEFT without getting in. Yep, I'm Ironman tough. haha

Today all I managed to do was go to the theatre and see Sex In The City (excellent by the way). But tomorrow.... tomorrow..... I'm dipping my toe into my favorite swimming hole, the Verona Quarry. It's quiet, wooded, and I don't want anyone seeing me try to squish my untrained body into the seal suit. Yikes. I hope it still fits.

So let's get it straight. Today Anne biked 124 miles, and I made an omelet at 11 p.m. Obviously two very well-trained machines. :)

But seriously, I AM excited to put the wetsuit back on. I am looking forward to open water swimming and getting into my full training mode.

Road ID - Can't Wait to Wear It!

2008-05-27T17:23:00.000-07:00

Besides Lifescan, I don't think I've taken much blog time to thank our sponsors of the fabulous triabetes project. Today I got a great email from Road ID (http://www.roadid.com/) telling me to go spend some money on my Triabetes sponsored gadgetry. Now, if you know me, you know I'm not like this:

But I will tell you this...I spent 15 wonderful minutes shopping at Road ID. What GREAT stuff! I bought a firefly to wear while I am out running and biking. I really try pretty hard not to be biking at night but there are times these bad boys would be perfect when you are caught in the rain. I ordered a blue one... :)

Then, I had to pick a Road ID. What to do...what to do... I decided I wanted something I would wear a lot, so I went with the "Fixx ID"...

I got this cool little "shell" to go around it - I chose orange (Nate, are you SOOOOO proud of me going with the Triabetes orange???). It will be proudly worn and nicely matched with my already well-known adornment:

Thanks to Road ID for their sponsorship of this project! Now go get yours!

Team Type 1 Coming Out My Ears

2008-05-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the pleasure of meeting yet another tt1'er, Bob Schrank out of the Chicago area. I was invited to a dinner hosted by Sanofi Aventis to listen to Bob speak about his diabetes management, etc. The room was filled with diabetes educators.

Memorable phrases from the evening:

Michelle: "My son wears a CGM"
Three educators: "What's a CGM"
Michelle: "???????? Really???????"

Bob, when asked about other pro racers saying it's an unfair advantage that they use insulin: "my pancreas red-lined, what's your excuse?"

My favorite quote from Bob that instantly became my tagline was when he said: "I didn't join Team Type 1 for cycling. I was already a cyclist."

I love what he said because it reminds me of so much of what we all do, those of us invested in the "d" world. We use the amazing skills we already have to spread the message and do good things, to get us closer to a cure.

I'm not sure what my amazing skill is but I'm pretty sure it involves pot pies or something.

PS Check out Bob's new blog as he embarks on RAAM 2008:
http://gobobgobobgo.blogspot.com/

Back in Step....I can't win, but I can finish

2008-05-13T19:14:00.001-07:00

I started a vacation today. My first since I started working at JDRF almost 3 years ago. I can't help it - I feel like when I go to a conference or a ride or whatever...it's FUN. It FEELS like a vacation when I'm with people who share my mission in life, you know?

So today, I get up (late, happily) and go for a swim. Ok, it was a short swim, but so what? I swam.

I bike downtown to meet Brian Cholewa for lunch at a happy little Mexican cart (sans donkey) on the capitol square in my sweet sassy tt1 gear (I couldn't help myself I look GOOD in it dang it). I then bike into a horrible head wind smiling my head off.

It's my day off. I run into no less than 6 people affiliated with diabetes.

I stop for coffee and invite Bob Gorsuch to coffee but alas, he is actually out being a "CEO" or something...sheesh! I finish my biking, lace up and run 5ish miles to see if my butt still jiggles when I run. Yep. It does. But at least I DID IT. Game on.

The photo is my 06 Ironman finish. My friend sent it to me today. I love it. Forgot it. But it came back quickly. 1 mile to go. It's cold, raining, and my friend is wearing a flippin' winter coat! I know I look hot in my survival gear and scream, "get this stuff off me!" I want to look hot for my finish line moment. LOL

Wow. What a moment. And everyone is going to experience it soon....

Have a great night!

Michelle