The Wedding, the heist, Jesse's gift and Johnny C

Oh, so you are all DYING to know the story. I just can feel it in my bones!

We wake up to gray skies on Saturday morning, the day Sean Busby is about to marry Mollie Shambeau in Waupaca, Wisconsin. No worries, we know Jesse will be there to help out on his 15th birthday to keep the rain away. We all expected an amazing sign from Jesse, counted on it really.

You see a week before my beloved bike - Johnny C - was stolen out of my garage. Not just any bike, mind you. This bike has been ridden in Jesse's honor for years, endured Death Valley 5 times in fact. No, I wanted Johnny C to come home. I wasn't all that hopeful, after all you rarely hear about bikes recovered. I posted a note on Craigslist letting everyone know what my bike looked like and that if anyone saw it, would they please call me. I filed my insurance claim begrudgingly and carried on.

As I sat at the Shambeau garden with many friends watching my office spouse marry a man I love like a brother, I was choking up. I could hear owls hooting in happiness. Geese flew over. The sign? No way. As the vows were exchanged I again cried while Sean and Mollie publicly recognized Jesse bringing them together - after all, they would never have met if he hadn't died and I knew more than anything Jesse was smiling down on them. I could FEEL it.

During the ceremony my phone rings and rings (on vibrate of course, I'm not that rude, but always having my phone on me is a habit left over from Jesse...no mom is ever away from her type 1 son, no way.) I get on the bus to travel back to the Indian Crossing Casino (which is not a casino, nor native american looking) and listen to my voicemail. A complete stranger is telling me that a thief has posted my bike for sale.

In somewhat of an excited and swift moment I call Charles back home and ask him to work with this guy to set up a meeting, and to bring the police. It's within a short amount of time that Charles is meeting with a wonderful officer named Steph...she's leery we are going to get this...but then Charles lets her know of Jesse, of the wedding and the meaning of Johnny C. She calls my friend Sarah MacKesey who is also a police officer and they are ready to roll. At the same time my friend Vicki G is letting me know that she also is trying to call the guy and knows it's my bike (her partner is also a police officer). My phone is ringing. A wedding is happenings. Toasts are made. And as Sean Busby stood to toast my Jesse Alswager, I get a call. A simple sentence from Charles, "We have your bike." And a mass of people who never met me, but know of Jesse, roar.

Did he get arrested? No. Was Johnny C lying sadly on a dirty floor in a seedy neighborhood? Yes. But nothing was removed from my biked - not even my trail pass with my name! No doubt it was my bike.

All I wanted was my bike back. And Jesse, well, he sure gave us a sign. A big one. There is no doubt that he wanted to be part of the day...and he was.

Congrats to Mollie & Sean and happy to "me" for having my bike..in the HOUSE...he's no longer living in my garage.

And that my friends is a happily ever after. Oh and by the way the gift they are opening symbolizes Jesse, and their marriage. As Dave Matthews so wonderfully said, "You and me together, we can do anything, baby....all the way to the end of the world...."

Til We Reach The End of the World

Tomorrow would have been Jesse's 15th birthday. I could stare at that sentence for hours and probably cry and feel sorry for myself. I'm sure I will spend at least 3 minutes tomorrow feeling sorry for myself.

But I get the pleasure of celebrating Jesse's birthday in a way not many others could do in my situation. Let me tell you a story.

When Jesse died a good friend of mine called and wanted to be sure he could fly in for the funeral. You see, Sean Busby was a good friend to Jesse. Jesse looked up to Sean in those early years because Sean was a professional snowboarder with type 1 diabetes who was about to embark on putting together a snowboard camp in Wisconsin with me. Over the years they became more like brothers, calling each other up with stupid one liners or talking about girls.

Brothers.

I asked Sean to deliver the eulogy for Jesse along with Jesse's sister, Samantha. While he stood talking about Jesse in heartfelt words a friend and coworker, Mollie Shambeau, was listening in a church pew and wondering who Sean was.

Over that week Sean and Mollie got to know one another. So much so that Mollie ended up quitting her job and moving to Utah to live with Sean. I can flash forward through this, but let it be known there have been many symbols that Jesse approves of this as songs that remind us of Jesse keep popping at important moments for Sean and Mollie, including the day Sean proposed to Mollie in Iceland. "You and Me" by Dave Matthews Band, a song that Jesse asked me to download just days before he died.

So Sean & Mollie decided to get married - and what date did they pick? The only date available of course in the small town of Waupaca, Wisconsin - September 24, 2011. Jesse's 15th birthday.

I'm looking forward to spending the day not thinking so much about what I've lost, but for what Sean and Mollie gained out of that loss and friendship. I had struggled so hard to come up with a gift for these two after all I certainly can't give them a Pottery Barn gift certificate. I had decided to let Jesse guide me.

One night while sitting on my deck just staring at stars and listening to music alone, it came to me, and with the help of a mom who also has a child with diabetes (of course!) I created what I think is the perfect gift. More to come on that after I hand deliver it tomorrow at their wedding, but I'm pretty sure Jesse picked it out, if you believe in that kind of thing like I do.

The song below reminds me of Jesse in so many ways, and yet is fitting for their wedding also. I hope you all have a good day remembering your time with Jesse. I hope you'll also post some fun memories on his memorial page or my wall.

Congrats Mollie & Sean, and Happy Birthday Eggyolkio...we miss you....


You & Me - Dave Matthews Band
Want to pack your bags something small
Take what you need and we disappear
Without a trace we'll be gone, gone
Moon and the stars will follow the car

And then when we get to the ocean
Gonna take a boat to the end of the world
All the way to the end of the world

Oh and when the kids are old enough, we're gonna teach them to fly

you and me together
We could do anything baby
You and me together yes, yes
You and me together
We could do anything baby
You and me together yes yes

You and I were not tied to the ground
Not falling but rising like rolling around
Eyes closed above the rooftops
Eyes closed we're gonna spin through the stars

Our arms wide as the sky, we're gonna ride the blue

All the way to the end of the world
To the end of the world

Oh and when the kids are old enough, we're gonna teach them to fly

CHORUS

We can always look back at what we did
Always remembering how you and me did
Right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know, we could do better than
anything that we did
You know that you and me
We could do anything


You and me together
We could do anything, baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together yeah, yeah
two of us together, we could do anything baby

It's so small
Till we reach the end of the world

Jessepalooza 2011 Rocked Out

The day was beautiful - hot - but beautiful. Crowds came and went throughout the day - and we realized Keva Sports Center is a perfect place to bring your kids (and still drink beer!) while watching great bands!




Many thanks to our sponsors:
Murphy Desmond Lawyers
Madison Memorial Captain Club
BDO
Centurion Cycling
Residence Inn


The hundreds of companies that donated items to our silent auction and drawings - I KNOW you are inundated with requests - I thank you personally for thinking our cause is important.


To best committee on the planet - Jody Montgomery, Michelle Reddington, Sandy Thompson, Carla Blumer, Shana Kellum, Tonya Tuomi and the many many many volunteers who show up each year to help! Thank you!

To the bands who give selflessly and do not get paid a cent! They come out, they play and they are awesome. My thanks to
The Distractors
The Campaign
Reaul
Bascom Hill


Listening to the kids sing "If you're not living in my world, it sucks to be you" is definitely one of the highlights. And Morgan's new crush on Reaul. :)


Of course many thanks to Diana Henry and John Urban for emceeing each year for me - so appreciated. And to the media including but not limited to BRAVA magazine, 105.5 FM, WKOW 27, Isthmus....you all supported the event and my family thanks you.

To Moira McCarthy who thought take our mile "23" and make it even more special by having people across the world (LITERALLY) not only buy virtual tickets to Jessepalooza, but to raise a glass at 7:23 pm to toast an amazing kid who still seems to be on a mission. Cheers to all of you!

To Tom Karlya for flying in to spend the day and meet the people I've been telling him about...Told ya, man...

I think Joey said it all....we miss you Jesse and we wish you were here. Until next year...

Mile 23 and what it means to me

It won't really shock any of you that I just completed my 11th Ride to Cure Diabetes for JDRF. A beautiful 100 miles through the bluffs of Wisconsin, Minnesota and Iowa with 399 of my closest d-world friends on a perfect day of smiles and honor.

This year JDRF (and I personally thank National Co-Head Coach Tim St. Clair and Aly Levine) has taken it upon themselves to have a mile of silence at all 5 ride sites at mile 23 in honor of Jesse and the many others who have followed him in his death. It is a great honor to keep seeing mile 23 posts all over the world. To stand there myself, well, beautiful and meaningful.

I rode for a lot of lost faces and am proud to have written their names at mile 23 (as much as we wanted to chalk them on the road, it rained so a poster board had to do!)

The Ride has always been very special to me, from my first time sitting at a ride meeting and raising my hand to say, "well, I don't have a bike yet, can I really train for this?" to crossing the finish line in record time with one my dearest friends (a new rider!), Theresa Hineline.

Diabetes camaraderie is a beautiful thing.

Rock on Jesse. We miss you.

You say it's my birthday....

So I could spend my 42nd birthday doing just about anything right? I've got a new house that I filled yesterday with friends and family for a little pre-celebration. But today...today is heavy for me. I cannot get Jesse off my mind because its hard to celebrate things. And this morning my facebook was a sea of birthday wishes. But nothing overwhelmed me quite like Moira McCarthy's blog post to honor Jesse by inviting the world to buy a virtual ticket to Jessepalooza (jessepalooza.org) with her and to raise a glass at 7:23 pm on Saturday, August 6th.

I hope you take the time to read this from Moira. Other people - and their solid kindness - is what gets me through. I hope you will repost this, after all, its $10. You can do it.

http://despitediabetes.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/in-honor-of-jesse-a-virtual-call-to-action/

The Great World I Live In - my latest Dlife Column

Normally, I just share the link to my bi-monthly Dlife column, but today I share it with love here. If you would like to read more of my columns or the blogs and columns by many other talented writers in the "d" world go to: http://www.dlife.com/diabetes_resources/diabetes_advocacy/michelle_alswager/a-part-of-something

This month's column was inspired by my Death Valley ride this year and the friends who joined me. Thanks for reading:

"Thank you so much for making us feel a part of something instead of feeling like something happened to us."

I saw these words in an email from a newly diagnosed mom, when another mom already neck-deep in the “d” world reached out to her, and it really got me thinking about what a great world I live in. Some of you reading this might be in shock to hear me say that — that I live in a great world. Maybe I am a lucky woman to have all of you and to be a part of something, especially after losing my son to this wretched disease. It’s true, and I’ll tell you why.

This past October I embarked on my journey to Death Valley, California with 35 teammates and 300 other people closely associated to someone with diabetes. We had trained all summer to ride 105 miles on bicycles in 105-degree heat. The Ride to Cure Diabetes put on by JDRF is an awe-inspiring event that brings together people in ways I can’t describe to you, bringing people together to feel like they’re a part of something. I’ve said many times that you have to experience the desert to understand the love and connection.

As I was riding up Jubilee Pass — which is anything but full of jubilee — I was cranking my wheels at 4 mph on a 6-mile climb, and feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was thinking about how my friend who has a son with diabetes was deeply upset by words someone uttered earlier during the ride. The words came from a rider with no direct connection to the disease. The words were simply, “I’m so grateful to have healthy children.” The sting to this diabetes mom was great and sank her into tears because she knew after all of this was over, she was still going home to a child with diabetes. An “unhealthy” child.

I thought about her sadness for quite some time, and after pondering, I said to this mom, “You know what? I found myself jealous of your statement that you get to go home to an unhealthy child. Because while it upset you to hear the word “healthy,” it upset me to hear the word “unhealthy.” After the loss of my son, I would give anything to have an unhealthy child back in my home.” And then I thought, Michelle, there is always someone worse off than you; someone who lost their spouse and a child to a car accident; or a family who lost more than one child to multiple illnesses and accidents.

I reflected on that the whole flight home — how I am blessed. While I have diabetes in my life, and now the loss of it in my life, I’m so lucky to know the people that I do in the diabetes world. They care deeply. And when a new family comes along with a recent diagnosis, and one family reaches out to them which creates more families reaching out to them until it is a gigantic embrace, you get a statement like, “Thank you so much for making us feel a part of something instead of feeling like something happened to us.”

That’s my point.

Jessepalooza is looking mighty AWESOME

Join us for a fun-filled day on August 6, 2011 at Keva Sports Center in Middleton to celebrate the life of Jesse Alswager. We have chosen Jessepalooza to be the official event to celebrate his life each year doing what Jesse loved best - rocking out.
We are currently accepting sponsorships and exhibitor space - take a look at jessepalooza.org for updates and a "fact sheet".

We have a great line up of bands that are sure to impress - with family-friendly activities all day and ice-cold Wisconsin beer, why wouldn't you want to come?

Also, stay tuned as we let you know a great way to partner with Centurion Cycling! There will be a kids cycling race that Saturday morning - any child raising $100 for either the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation or the Diabetes Research Institute will get free admission and a free t-shirt!

Feel free to email me at curejesse@gmail.com for sponsorship info!