D-blog Day: how has the online community helped you?

Today is national d-blog day. I was asked to participate with the hundreds of others who don't seem to mind the whole world knowing what goes on in their life. We were given two tasks. 1) to create a page for a book that will be at the Children With Diabetes (CWD) Friends for Life (FFL) conference and also to talk about what impact the online community/presence has made on life with diabetes - for me personally.

In 2002 I became a moderator for JDRF's Online Diabetes Support Team (ODST). Basically, I would get all of the emails that were sent to JDRF from families and was assigned the task of finding a great "cyber volunteer" to answer their questions. Back in 2002 I remember the occasional email coming in that no one wanted to see..."I lost my child to diabetes...can someone help me?" Of course at the time no one really could. We tried, but we couldn't fathom.

So many years have gone by and with the death of Jesse I've learned sadly two new ways the online world has been so very useful. First of all, I'm back on the ODST with one specific task - answering emails from families who have lost their children. Second, the world of grieving the loss of a child to diabetes you would think is small. It is not. Facebook and other social media has allowed us to unite into a new group that "no one wants to be a part of." And I'm damn lucky to have both. Because helping others as I always say - helps me. Without those other families I would be grieving quite alone.

So put to task here is my page for D-blog day. My page represents Mile 23(a mile of silence for those lost) and all that it stands for not only for Jesse - but for all the kids lost to this disease. Pictured are many different moments in Death Valley, CA, La Crosse, WI, Grandad's Marathon in North Carolina (My two favorite type 1 Triabetes athletes pictured Steve "Ninja" Ahn and Dave Shack) and Mile 23 of the Ironman Wisconsin. I literally cherish each picture I get where I know someone - anyone - spent a mile thinking about the death of my son and what it means to them. And surrounding the photo are the names of children I never met, but who's parents have become my friends - through our grief - we are united.

I was also asked to provide the blue circle that indicates World Diabetes Day. I did not have to create one. One was created when Trent Nicholson died at the age of 14. So for Jen & Bob Nicholson, this one is for you, baby. The bracelet says, "Find a cure for T1 Diabetes" and more importantly to me, "Remember Trent Nicholson."

Mile 23 and what it means to me

It won't really shock any of you that I just completed my 11th Ride to Cure Diabetes for JDRF. A beautiful 100 miles through the bluffs of Wisconsin, Minnesota and Iowa with 399 of my closest d-world friends on a perfect day of smiles and honor.

This year JDRF (and I personally thank National Co-Head Coach Tim St. Clair and Aly Levine) has taken it upon themselves to have a mile of silence at all 5 ride sites at mile 23 in honor of Jesse and the many others who have followed him in his death. It is a great honor to keep seeing mile 23 posts all over the world. To stand there myself, well, beautiful and meaningful.

I rode for a lot of lost faces and am proud to have written their names at mile 23 (as much as we wanted to chalk them on the road, it rained so a poster board had to do!)

The Ride has always been very special to me, from my first time sitting at a ride meeting and raising my hand to say, "well, I don't have a bike yet, can I really train for this?" to crossing the finish line in record time with one my dearest friends (a new rider!), Theresa Hineline.

Diabetes camaraderie is a beautiful thing.

Rock on Jesse. We miss you.

a year of thanks

Thank you to Amy Eager for showing up at my house at 8:30 am on 2/4.

Thank you to Jen Engel for pants.

Thank you to MyMenu for a freezer full of food.

Thank you to Sarah Faust for m&ms, maps of Spain and other things that were so abnormal during grief, it became a relief to receive them.

Thank you to Sean, Sam and Karly for delivering the best eulogies a mom could ask for.

Thank you to every tv and radio station in this town who put aside all political stuff and ALL covered event related to Jesse because in their hearts, they knew the reason was worth it.

Thank you to Econoprint who transformed Mark Gray's caricature of Jesse in to Jessepalooza brand I will be proud to use for all the years to come.

Thanks to Tom Karlya for pulling me into the Diabetes Research Institute and keeping me motivated to do something bigger.

Thank you to my kids for being so damn strong.

Thank you to Charles for getting up that painful day and setting up the memorial fund and having the mental capacity when I didn't.

Thanks to Bob Gorsuch for allowing my family to grieve rather than worrying about how we would pay for a funeral.

Thanks to everyone who came to the Lazy Oaf to help with the memorial fund.

Thanks to the most wonderful six people - Derek, Kye, Paul, Aaron, Andrew and Bob who had the responsibility as pall bearers.

Thanks to all of the 13 year olds who continue to friend me on facebook and allow me a window into Jesse's life as a teen.

Thanks to all my coworkers who tried not to flinch when I was crying in my office trying to get through those early days.

Thanks to all my friends who got on bicycles and rode in Jesse's honor in Death Valley.

Thanks to those at the helm who made 23 a mile of silence for this year and the years to come.

Thanks to Joe Brady for creating a meaningful slideshow and for giving me Jesse's used test strips during my Oscar Drama Moment one mile from the top of Jubilee Pass.

Thanks to Sean Busby for happening to be standing at the Jubilee Pass sign when it was time to put Jesse's test strips down those rusty metal posts and us knowing it will always be there.

Thanks to all at JDRF who had the balls to put politics aside and support me.

Thanks to all of you who keep me motivated to complete my book on this experience.

Thanks to Laura Kuhl who tells me that Jesse misses peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Thank you to anyone who has not expected me to be "normal" because "enough time has gone by" when it hasn't been enough time gone by.

Thank you to the Ohms for helping me understand that time does not erase a person's face, smile and sounds.

Thank you to my old grade school and high school friends who have taken the time to travel to Madison more than once just to make sure I remember how to have fun.

Thank you to John Moore, Anne Findly and Gabby Cezar for being here when I wasn't expecting it.

Thanks to Terese Berceau and the rest of the Wisconsin Assembly for honoring Jesse and I as hometown heroes.

Thanks to Paul and Kye for vowing to always be Joey's big brothers for Jesse.

Thanks to Bill Bathke who's hug meant a lot before he lost his own life this year.

Thanks to my entire ride group for allowing Jesse to be a major part of why we ride even though I know you ride for very personal reasons of your own.

Thanks to national ride coach Tim St Clair for being a big mushy goo when it comes to talking to me.

Thank you to Sara Rankin for opening up about her own son's death to help me through those first days.

Thanks to Jen and Bob for allowing me to call them when it's 2 am and I need someone who gets it, and understands why the ornament aisle hurts like hell.

Thanks to John Flint who said, "Dude, I really don't want to be the guy you write about in your book about the people who say dumb things to you." :)

Thanks to the Judd/Blanchard family for turning the support I had for the loss of their family into helping my family through ours.

Thank you to Jesse for teaching me that I cannot expect someone to be capable of something they are incapable of. (Keeping my anger in check)

Clearly I have forgotten to mention many...so to those I thank you as well. Through it all there have been disappointments, life is full of them after all. But the biggest thank you goes to all of you for never expecting a thank you and for THAT, I thank you.

Godspeed Little Man

A tribute to Jesse Alswager and Trent Nicholson in Death Valley - we miss you.