Life Sentence - Jesse Alswager passes away at age 13

I don't have words. But I know I have to give you some. It has now been 10 days since Jesse died unexpectedly to complications of his type 1 diabetes. Tonight my family - now only 4 - went to dinner to try to feel some sense of normalcy...

Those first few days I kept saying to everyone in a fog, "How can I go on telling people its not a death sentence? I've lied to them..."

Joe Brady, a good friend and a Triabetes athlete showed up the next day with a poem he claims was written with divine intervention. Framed, it sits next to me, I write it below:

Life Sentence

Did I say these words to a hundred,
a thousand parents?

"My name is Michelle Alswager
and my son, like your child, has type 1 diabetes
but don't worry,
it's not a death sentence."

My son Jesse, so little, diagnosed at age three
and so early gone at thirteen
I ask myself, what will I tell the parents now?
With eyes closed, I see my son..and know the answer:

Refuse with me to feel sorry for him
For he lived his diagnosis as a life sentence
with no time limit guarantee.

A life sentence to celebrate his days
touching others with his smile and patient ways
chilling with his school friends and neighbors
advocating with Governor, Congress, and doctors to find the cure.

Hanging with Dad at neighborhood parties
loving music, playing his sweet-sounding life melody
carving sharp, crisp lines with Sean on snowy slopes
laughing with brother and sisters at mom's corny jokes.

For him, beating the disease was to never
compromise, yield, submit or succumb
to an affliction whose victories
are counted with each lost possibility and
"can't do 'cause I've got type 1."

Never did he say "pity me" or "it's not fair"
Instead we heard "what's next?" and "let's go" and "cool!"
as he lived his life sentence.

So Please hear me, dear parent with newly diagnosed type 1,
not once did my son yield, submit or succumb
his life was rich, vibrant, a celebration...
Jesse didn't lose - he won.

~Joe Brady

Godspeed Jesse. We keep fighting for you and mom misses you and wishes you were here.

Anne's Blood Sugars during IM AZ

Anne's blood sugar during her race last weekend. I'm sharing for those of you who usually think of diabetes as shots, testing and watching what you eat. As you can see, their lives are much more complicated, 24/7.

38 miles on your bike makes you think

Ugh. Seriously...UGH. I have neglected my body and my bike for way too long. Work has been so busy (yes I know you are the choir and I am preaching) that I have stopped doing what makes me feel the best - cycling.

It's almost November and if you have ever been to Wisconsin you know that a day like today can be 20 degrees and a blizzard, or you can luck out and it is 62 degrees and sunny. Today was one of those days.

I took the time to put air in the tires (I'm embarrassed to tell you they were down to like 30 lbs each), get the water bottles, and saddle up with my newly reshuffled itunes mix (Black Eyed Peas and I Got a Feeling will launch you over any hill) and hit the road to Paoli. As I biked on I got lost in my thoughts. Work this, work that, celebrities this, exhibitors that. Then it went to the Triabetes premiere, donations rolling in to launch us that last bit...

The leaves were crunching under my tires (I could hear it in between Beautiful day by U2 and While I was jamming to Switch by Will Smith) and finally caught myself smiling.

Signing up with a huge group of fantastic type 1 ladies to do Ironman Lake Placid '11....well today that did not seem out of reach. In fact, it seemed important to set myself on that path.

Today is a good day.

Giddy...and Ironman Documentary PREMIERE!

Hi, kids. I hope you've missed me at least a little. Time to play a little blogging catch up. I was working today (have I told you already that BRAVA magazine is alive, kicking and a helluva lot of fun?!) Anyway, our resident fashionista, Mollie Shambeau, was putting together our blog (check it if you are bored, I think we crack ourselves up - www.bravaintheknow.wordpress.com) and I thought, "I think its time for a Triabetes update."

Nella, the guts behind this project, is currently putting together a pretty "rough cut". People have been submitting amazing tunes that will set the stage and catapult these Triabetes athletes forward on a big screen.

I got an email the other day from Peter Nerothin, king of Ironkidz, Insulindependence, and temporary Colorado resident (he moved across the street from Johnny Moore!!!). He teased my brain by sending a marquee from a theatre...in Tempe, AZ.

Drum Roll....

I have goosebumps when I tell you the documentary is set to premiere in Tempe, AZ, November 21st, the day before even more Triabetes team members embark on a new Ironman adventure...

Stay tuned.......

An Easter Drowning would not be cool...

Ok, so today we all wake up fresh, Brian goes for a Madison 13 mile-ish run, I'm up cooking the ham, and then preparing all the food...

So late in the day I have the Triabetes crew of Brian, Nella, Ray and Elisa here along with my family and Charles' family. The pool has been shocked one time only, its still COLD in Wisconsin people! So, imagine our surprise as we here a splash and realize 6 year old Mason is in the pool and Joey is screaming it. Everyone runs. But in the time it took for me to run to the pool, Brian, marathon superstar, is already in the pool. We were all in rescue mode, but Brian was sauced including his blackberry (nonfunctioning), dexcom cgm (nonfunctioning) and his Animas pump (functioning!!!). Sigh.

After the excitment the kids re-enacted the wonderful excitment on facebook for us. We all laughed as they imitated me "oh, my triabetes ATHLETE is saving someone! He's amazing!". Hm...Offended, I was. But, a good sport. (ok, not really a good sport, but I pretended to be.)

So he saves the boy, we have fun...Triabetes rocks on, Easter style....

Sometimes, the real job kicks in, right?

Wow. Have you missed me??? I've missed you! I was watching some emails fly today from the Triabetes 2008 team and it made me feel like bringing you all up to speed on our lives.....

My job at brava magazine has proven to be one of the best job moves in my entire life. For those of you who don't know, I work for Kristin Erickson, publisher of brava, who I met when her son, Sean, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes almost 2 years ago. I featured her at my JDRF gala (best one you'll ever see, baby) and when she found out I was back on the market, she hired me up in seconds as her Marketing & Events Director. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to have earned this position. I'm in charge of something called the Madison Women's Expo (www.MadisonWomensExpo.com) where 8000 women and 200 vendors come together to just kind of celebrate chica-land. Two celebs, Tim Gunn (of Project Runway fame) and Debbie Reynolds (pinch me when I called her office to say the photos they sent for the article just weren't doing it for me and they sent me original photos from Debbie's scrapbook from Singin' In the Rain and the Unsinkable Molly Brown...helllooo?????) are coming and lets just say putting this event on feels like a JDRF gala x 10. LOVE IT. I have about 20 people in the office who surround me, support me and damn it they are just as goofy. Creative? Wow, what a refreshing change of pace!!!!

As I finish up this huge event this weekend, I'm happy to say that Triabetes is working hard with Team Type 1 to bring you something big...something huge...something real....cohesive. Stay tuned. I'm so proud to see the diabetes & sports world coming together instead of splintering off.

Steve Ahn sent us a quick note...his wife is due soon to have their third (he's busy during IM training, isn't he folks?) and let us know his wife has had some difficulties, but he emailed his old teammates - to let us all know so we can pull for him. Every time I see a Triabetes athlete name in my inbox, I'm so happy. I do miss them terribly.

A few of them are racing Ironman Arizona this weekend (go Triabetes!) and Triabetes 2009 is well underway. For now, I sit back and watch Nella and Ray work their magic on the documentary as I try to wrap my arms around distribution - what is the right venue for this beautiful movie? Hulu? Vimeo? I mean, viral is HOT right? Film festivals, local viewings, so much to consider...and so much to learn, this executive producer knows well she's new to the scene. We all stay motivated, we all fight to bring the story beyond the day....stay tuned....

How do we get our documentary "out there"?

Most of my blogs are about training. Or maybe you think most of my blogs are pretty random. :)

We have had some great sponsors supporting our work over the last year. A list of them is available at Triabetes.org. But what does it take to get an award winning film crew to not only travel the country to shoot the film, but to actually get it chopped out, spit out, and looking perfect? How do we get it to Sundance Film Festival?

Cash. And lots of it.

But more so, it takes good hearted people like you. You see, much of what we do is out of the goodness of people. We rely on people every day to donate their time, talents and money to spread this message. Not only do we need to secure the money, we open our doors to anyone willing to help us with PR as we near the finish of this project. We look to people willing to promote it, to interview the athletes, to get them the gear they need to race, etc.

I was out for a run yesterday after a nice bike ride with my friend, Stacy Cook (who bought herself a sweet little Trek Madone 5.2 today for only $1,000!) and I was thinking, "Man, how COOL would it be to enter this documentary into film festivals and how do I make that happen?"

That's where you come in. The last few months we are working hard on our training. But we have to be thinking ahead to the future of Triabetes. I know you want to see it in completion just as much as we do. I lean to you - if you know of anyone wanting to get involved in the project with time, talent or of course, deep pockets, you know how to find me.

Now I have to go mow my lawn. I think it has gone to seed.

I finally have a tshirt for Bill Carlson

Ok, I've got a BIG message I want to send out about the JDRF gala on Friday that ROCKED THE HOUSE thanks to so many people. I'll talk endlessly about having my Triabetes athletes here (John Moore, Brian Foster, Joe Brady, Aaron Perry...) and how fun it was to have Phil Southerland here along with his Team Manager of Team Type 1, Tom Schuler.

BUT...as we finished up the gala, Brian Foster was in town and wanted to do this little 5K for the physicial therapy department of the UW-Madison, to give Ray and Nella a little footage for the documentary. Now, this girl has NOT been running. Running her @ss off to get the gala going, sure, but not training. SO.... Brian is at my house, we are just chilling out, talking about the documentary...and I think, "well, Michelle, giddy up. Time to lace up the shoes officially."

Training season. Late start.

So we go to the race, it's a beautiful sunny morning, 52 degrees. Brian and I have on our Triabetes shirts (of course), Ray, Nella and Elisa show up to film. I'm feelin' good. Brian goes to the front, I meander to the back as to not embarrass myself. Phil had given me this awesome Team Type 1 jacket that I was going to wear, but realized if I wore it, people would think I was actually an athlete. Not wise. Went for some quieter fashion thanks.

Started off the race with a bad stich in the right side. Tried to push through it, felt a little whiny. But I felt ok as I finally passed some 90 year old guy (seriously, how bad am I????) and got a little stride.

I knew Brian would finish at like 15 minutes (of course he did, finishing like 6th overall) and jogged back to find me, thank GOD I was not walking, then I see Ray pull out his video camera. Girl tries to lay it on hard for the camera. As I finished, the timing crew stopped me to get my #. I have this thing where I have to keep moving, or I feel breakfast coming up (in this case, breakfast was merely coffee, but it still felt bad). It subsided and I felt good.

I'm sad to say it took me 28 minutes to finish that bad boy, but hey, I think I won my age group. Ok, ok, there weren't a lot of old people like me there! But I'll take it.

BILL CARLSON: I love my LA Marathon shirt you gave me. I have a "UW Wisconsin Rehab Run" shirt for you. Time to trade up, baby.

Training for Ironman Can Be Dangerous

So I get an email from my friend, Peter, founder and prez of http://www.insulindependence.org/ and Triabetic extraordinaire yesterday morning. It starts out rather mundane. You see, like most of us, he "accidentally" didn't hear his alarm and missed his open water swim with his training group in San Diego. He was disappointed, but hey, he knew he was usually the last swimmer in the group, not so much the front of the pack, he'd go to the pool instead. Then he hears the news that someone he recently met, Dave Martin, was attacked and killed while swimming at the back of the training pack - by a Great White Shark. Peter was pretty shaken up, obviously, and considering some pool swims instead of ocean swims for awhile.

At least during Ironman Wisconsin, the only thing Peter has to fear is boat fuel, some kicks to the head by the guy in front of him, and maybe a small mouth bass skimming his leg.

I'm behind in the blog life, but I refuse to mention McDonalds

I have no business blogging about the Triabetes project because I can't come close to the riveting stories that are told by the athletes that are already blogging (go to http://www.triabetes.org/ to see the links to their blogs). But I thought, what the heck, blog. My perspective will be that of the mom of a type 1 child. I am doing the Ironman with these amazing people. Unlike the rest of them, I haven't begun my training. What's my excuse? Um, my day job as Executive Director for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation keeps me busy. I travel a lot for my job. I have 3 amazing kids ages 7, 11 and 14. I spend too much time on Facebook. My friends twist my arm frequently to come out and do stupid things like go to the Roller Derby (what? huh?) My bike coach (a Triabetes athlete as well) hasn't bugged me NEARLY enough to get off my butt. Errrr, my dog ate my swimsuit?

There are 5 of us I consider official Triabetic Wannabes that work very hard on this project. Me (of course) with a focus on keeping the athletes happy (you ARE happy, aren't you??), Nella Citino and Ray Ibsen who are putting the beautiful documentary together and have a child with diabetes, Matt Corcoran, M.D., the amazing doc for this team who also happens to run Diabetes Training Camp, and of course Nate Heintzman, scientist extraordinaire out in San Diego sweating his you-know-what-off to lead this project. If this blog doesn't go over well, Nate and I can always start a blog about burritos or something.

I can't tell you the reward I feel each and every day when I read the athlete's blogs and watch them transform before my eyes. Your eyes. I can't tell you what it feels like to know I brought them together AND we are having fun along the way. I can't tell you what it feels like to know my type 1 son, Jesse, is diggin' it.

I'm not mentioning McDonalds, and it's not on my running route. Not yet. If they become a sponsor, I promise to run past it and eat there. For now, I continue to run the Arboretum with my friend Zeke telling me to get my butt in gear. I look forward to my weekly runs to Picnic Point with my good friend, Tierney, who tells me I'm old and fat and MAY finish IM.

Bring on the smack talk...it's the only thing that will get me across that finish. I have a goal, it's shallow, but a goal nonetheless. I'll share in a future blog.